Pieces
by lizzygrace12
Summary: "What are you talking about?" The scavenger collapses in a chair, struggling to catch her breath, after being released from his choke hold. "Our fight on Starkiller Base was seven years ago, Ben."
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER ONE**

The snow had begun seeping through his clothes. If the damage from the Wookie's bowcaster didn't kill him, hypothermia surely would. The only bright side to his current predicament was that the sting of the cold helped to numb the gaping wound in his side. His current attire had been designed to withstand cold temperatures, but provided little protection from water or snow. He would have to change the design of his next uniform. If he lived, that is.

At this point, he wasn't sure what would be worse; dying or having to face the supreme leader in the wake of his failure. He had succeeded in killing his father. Han Solo was dead by his hand. He had done what he needed to in order to snuff out the light in him. He had done what the Supreme Leader had asked of him without hesitation. But, in the end, he had been bested by a wookie, a defected stormtrooper, and scavenger. He could feel the heat rising to his face just thinking about that desert rat. Kylo knew that if he went before the Supreme Leader he would pay greatly for his inadequacy. Despite having enough Darkness in him to strike down his own father, Kylo knows the supreme leader will call him weak.

Tears sprang to his eyes, as he forces himself to cough up some blood. It was an embarrassment. He had trained in saber combat most of his life only to be humiliated by a girl who had never held a lightsaber before. It wasn't fair. In the back of his mind, he couldn't help, but wonder if Snoke would attempt to replace him with this child. She has been the only person he's met who force capabilities parallel his own. He realized she was powerful when she was able to resist his mind probe and force herself into his mind. He didn't truly realize the extent of her powers until she called Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber into her outstretched hand. When she stood there, with the blue glow of the saber illuminating her face, he was in awe of her.

He remembers how to force moved through her. So natural. So light. Even the darkest of force users could not help, but be drawn to her light. She was able to easily tap into the light side of the force. He could only imagine what she could do with the dark. At the time, Kylo knew he was fighting a losing battle. He was losing a lot of blood and while he was stronger, the girl was quicker. He had offered to teach the girl. She is young and naive. He assumed she would be easily persuaded. She looked back at him and for a moment he thought he might have her. Then, she kicked his ass.

He lets out a howl of frustration. His voice echoes throughout what's left of the deteriorating forest. It's only a matter of time before the destructing planet swallows him whole. He imagines Hux is taking his time collecting him. He can picture the smirk on his smug face and he spouts off all of Kylo's failings to Snoke. Meanwhile, the scavenger was probably already off planet, flying away in the Millennium Falcon. She's head back to the resistance base where the will hail her a hero. Then, she'll find Skywalker.

The next time the girl won't be so lucky he vows. He will snuff out the her light with the same saber his grandfather used to extinguish the light so many years ago. Or, he will bring her bleeding and broken to the Supreme Leader. He can decide what to do with the desert filth. If he's lucky, he will make her a Knight of Ren and she will spend the rest of her days answering to Kylo Ren. He can humiliate her as she did him.

"This isn't over between us, Rey," Kylo Ren shouts even though he knows she is too far away to hear.

 _Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

The sound of the heart monitor is the first thing that Kylo Ren notices when he regains consciousness. _Kriff. Guess this means I lived._

He waits before opening his eyes. He can't stand the thought of Hux's ugly mug looking down at him. He takes stock of his injuries and is surprised to find he doesn't feel as terrible as he assumed he would. The wound to his left flank should have been an excruciatingly painful injury and he is pleased to find he doesn't have any pain there at all. He moves his hand to brush his side. There isn't even any dressing there. _I guess Snoke allowed the medics to put me in a Bacta Tank. I must have really been on death's door._ He couldn't bring himself to assess his facial injury yet. He assumes it isn't pretty.

He tries rotating his right shoulder to see if the scavengers sloppy hits had done any lasting nerve damage. However, he finds he is unable to move it. Not because of any physical damage, but because someone is lying on it.

Kylo's eyes shoot open. He has clearly been taking to a medical center following his injuries. That much is clear. However, that did not explain why the scavenger is lying in his bed. She is lying on her side with her head tucked in his shoulder and her leg thrown over his. He watches her chest rise and fall with each breath she takes. _What was happening? Had he been captured by the Resistance?_ He yanks his arm out from under her, causing her to jolt awake.

She looks mildly confused at first. However, when she notices Kylo looking at her a breathtaking smile cuts across her face.

"Ben, you're awake." She reaches her hand up to run her fingers through his hair.

Kylo Ren does that only think he could think of at the time. He calls to the force and throws the scavenger from his bed. With a yelp, she flies into the nearest chair and skids into a wall. She has the audacity to look surprised at his outburst.

"Where am I?," he demands. "Is this a Resistance base?" Kylo moves to pull the leads connecting him to the heart monitor from his chest. He swings his feet over the side of the bed. Apparently his body wasn't ready for this change in position, because he suddenly feels like the room is spinning.

"Kriff, Ben. What was that for?" The girl winces as she picks herself up from the floor.

"Am I being held prisoner, because, if not, I will be leaving now. " He tries working through his dizziness and manages to pull himself into a standing position. All of the sudden he finds himself being force pushed back into the bed. The girl.

"Ben. What are you talking about?," the look on the scavenger's face was one of genuine concern and it unnerved him. Where was her concern for him on Starkiller?

"Stop calling me that. Ben Solo is dead. That name means nothing to me. Now, where am I?" With that, the scavengers face pales and she takes a few hesitant steps towards him. There has been a drastic change in her behavior.

"What is the last thing you remember?" She demands.

"What do you mean? I'm asking the questions here, scavenger," he barks.

"What is the last thing you remember?" Her voice is quieter this time as if she is afraid of what his answer might be.

"You and the resistance scum blowing up an entire planet. You cutting my face open and leaving me for dead." He rises from the bed and steps forward.

She steps back as he advances and presses an emergency button on the wall. Before she can make any further moves, Kylo has the girl in a force choke. Her hands fly to her neck as he cuts off her airway. The look on Rey's face is complete disbelief and he is unable to understand why. She said it herself. He's a monster.

"Seven years.." she chokes out as medical personnel start filing into the room. Before he can fight back, someone has slapped a force suppression cuff around his wrist and pushed him back onto the bed. He has no idea why this is happening. _If this is a Resistance base, why hadn't they restrained him in the first place? Why was he in a fancy hospital room and not in a cell?_

"What are you talking about?"

The scavenger collapses in a chair, struggling to catch her breath, after being released from his choke hold.

"Our fight on Starkiller Base was seven years ago, Ben."


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

"Seven years ago? This is some sort of sick joke." Kylo's voice is cold and calculated. "This must be part of the Supreme Leader's punishment for me. This is a hallucination meant to punish me for letting some desert scum get the best of me." He lays back on the bed and closes his eyes. _I might as well relax while I wait this out._

"This is real, Ben. I'm not sure why this is happening...why you don't remember." By this time the scavenger had lowered herself into the chair nearest his bed, pulling her knees close to her chest. "We were out with P-...we were downtown and you were hit in the back of the head. You passed out. They said it's just a concussion...that you would be okay."

Kylo finally takes a good look at her. This is not the same scavenger he had battled on Starkiller. She is still very young, but something about her seems more certain, more mature. She looks clean and well-nourished. Her hair isn't in three buns anymore. It's in one bun with two braided strands leading into it. The way he used to help his mother do her hair. She has on black leggings with knee high boots and a olive green men's shirt that was way too large for her.

"The medic is on her way so that we can make some sense out of all of this. Um...okay." She was rambling now. Each time she opens her mouth, she closes it just as quickly. "Ben, so much has changed. I understand that this is very scary and confusing for you. I..."

"That isn't my name." He snaps, refusing to make eye contact with the girl.

Rey's eyes softened. "You haven't been Kylo Ren for a long time now."

"Hey, kid. How's that head treating you?" Leia Organa hands Rey a cup and throws a bag on the table in the corner of the room. Then, to his horror, she approaches his bed and presses a kiss to his temple.

He draws back quickly. "General." Kylo's voice slices through the air like a knife.

Leia's eyes meet his and her head tilts in confusion. "Rey? What's going on?"

"He doesn't remember anything." Rey's eyes never lose contact with Kylo's. "He doesn't remember anything after the attack on Starkiller base."

The general goes to kneel by Rey and cups her cheek in her hand.

"Sweetheart, did he hurt you?"

"He forced choked me briefly, before they got the force suppressor cuff on him. And he threw me against the wall when he first woke up," the girl has tears rolling down her face now. "I'm okay though. I swear it. I'm not leaving."

"Rey, you need to go get checked out by a medic."

"No, Leia, really I'm fine." She wipes her tears away with her oversized sleeves. "I would know if something was wrong."

"Now. No arguments." Leia transitioned into her no nonsense politician tone. Anyone with any sense would know not to argue with her.

"Okay, fine. I'll be back though. As soon as possible." He watches as Leia wraps the girl in a comforting hug. The girl breaks the embrace with a sigh and heads out the door. She stops in the doorway to get one last look at him before she disappears.

The general turns around to face her son.

"Well, this is quite the predicament, Ben."

"Now I know this isn't real. I would never willingly incorporate you back into my life."

"When you get your memories back, you are going to regret laying a hand on her." Leia moves to the chair closest to his bed. She's stoic and unafraid as usual.

"That girl humiliated me. Her life is of very little value to me."

"That girl is everything to you," Leia says sharply.

"That's not true. I hate her."

"Oh, Ben. We both know that's a lie. I'm going to hold off on this conversation until Rey returns. Do you need anything? Is your head bothering you"

"It's fine," he snaps even though the pain in his head is pulsating.

"No, it's not. I'll get a nurse." His mother was out of the room before he could say anything else.

It was 20 minutes before his mother returned. In the meanwhile, a nurse had come into his room and given him some pain medication. He was too proud to admit how much he needed it. The scavenger had returned too. She and the general are talking in hushed tones outside of his door.

"We're both fine, Leia. I promise. Everything checked out fine."

"Alright, my girl. We are going to get through this. I'm sure those memories will be back in no time."

When she walks back into the room, it's clear the scavenger has been crying. Her eyes are puffy and red and her face is blotchy. However, she walks in looking confident and determined. She perches herself on the seat closest to him.

"Your doctor says your memory loss is temporary. She says it should all return other the course of the next few weeks. Please understand that you are safe here. No one is trying to hurt you or deceive you." There is a soothing tone to the girl's voice and her eyes are kind.

"You say I've lost seven years of memory."

"Yes."

"Hm. I'd ask you to fill me in on what I've missed, but I have absolutely no reason to trust you." Kylo grumbles. He tries to avoid her gaze by picking at his fingernails, but something made him take a quick glance. Rey's face falls slightly.

"Your mother will back me up and keep me honest. You once told me that one of the things you respected most about Leia Organa was that she was always honest with you." Kylo is taken aback by this statement. This was indeed how he felt about his mother. She was a terrible parent, but she was honest and she tried. He couldn't hate her for that.

"Fine. I would like to facilitate this discussion," he commands. She nods. "Is the war over?"

Rey lets out the breathe she had been holding. "Yes, it's over. The First Order didn't let up after Starkiller. They managed to track the Resistance fleet through hyperspace."

"It worked?" He has to admit he was pleased despite the plan being Hux's idea.

"Yes. It definitely worked. Meanwhile, the Resistance was running out of fuel…"

He doesn't let her finish. "Let me guess. You attempted some daring mission to dismantle the First Order trackers."

She laughs lightly. "No, Finn did…"

"Of course, the traitor. You didn't go with him? Last thing I remember you two were pretty close." He spits.

"I wasn't with the Resistance fleet. I was on Ahch-To with your…"

"So that's where Skywalker was." _Things would have been so much easier had he taken the droid and left the girl._ He remembers his interrogation. "The island...the one from your dreams. That was it."

"Yes. It was. I had been dreaming of that island since I was little. I just didn't know it."

"Tell me, scavenger. Was Luke Skywalker everything you imagined in a teacher? Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Yes...and no. His teachings were mildly beneficial although brief. It was really lonely actually until…" She reaches her hand to scratch behind her ear awkwardly.

"Until what?" He probs.

"We discovered that we are bonded," she says with a small smile. "One minute I was sitting alone in my hut on Ahch-To and then, all of the sudden, you were there. I felt you first, then I saw you, and you spoke to me." The scavenger moves to sit on the end of his bed. Kylo finds her comfortableness around him unsettling.

"How did that happen?" He groans.

"Snoke tried to take responsibility for it, but you and I suspect it happened during your…"

"During my interrogation of you. Hm." He pulls himself into a sitting position. "So, what. We stayed up late every night swapping stories."

"Not exactly. You were a little more intrigued by this bond than I was initially. I was vulnerable, alone, and afraid. I had this connection to a man who had so much power and so much darkness. I recognized the same potential for power and darkness in myself. I had found the one person capable of teaching me and he refused to do it." She pulls the blanket of the bottom of his bed and pulls it around herself, tucking it under her chin.

"I offered to teach you." He snaps. He could have told her Skywalker would be a disappointment.

"I know." She sighs tracing circles on the bed in front of her. "You were my greatest comfort on that island. You told me I wasn't alone. One night, we discovered that we could physically feel each other through the bond. We held hands and I could feel the extent of your conflict."

"There is no conflict." He pulls against his wrist restraints.

"You know that's not true. I think you know by now that killing Han Solo didn't have the effect you wanted." She lightly rests her small hand on his leg. She wasn't wrong. He knew the moment his father's hand brushed his cheek that his actions had not extinguished the light like he had hoped.

"Maybe, that's true. So what's next…I used the bond to find your location."

"You're good, Ben, but not that good. I came to you willingly." She smirked. "You brought me straight to Snoke. He tortured me and then ordered you to kill me."

"You're still hanging around, so clearly I failed." He mused. He couldn't believe that he had lost another fight against this untrained nothing.

"You didn't try. You killed Snoke instead. We fought off his guards together. It was crazy." He could tell this was an exciting memory for her as he watched her eyes light up. "I really thought that you were going to come home with me after that."

"I didn't?"

"No. You wanted me to come rule the galaxy with you. As much as I had grown to care for you by that point, I couldn't do it."

None of this made any sense to Kylo. He had killed his master before his training was complete? For what? The scavenger? It's obvious that the Resistance had won this fight. His mother was still alive. That could only mean he had returned to the light. He had abandoned everything he had worked for all these years. Tears of frustration leaked from his eyes. Then there was the matter of the girl. Why was she here?

"Who are you to me exactly? I know you are Rey, the scavenger from Jakku. You said we are forced bonded to each other, but that doesn't explain why you are here with me."

"Ben, I'm your wife."


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

"Lies." Kylo snarls.

"No. Not a lie." The scavenger leans forward to take his hand, but he snatches it away before she has the chance. She leans back with a sigh, keeping her eyes fixated on the floor, her hands rubbing anxiously on her pants. "This is going to be harder than I thought." She whispers to herself.

"Why would I marry you? You are nothing to me." He can not imagine a scenario where he would take Rey as his wife. He would be lying if he said he didn't find her beautiful. She had inquisitive eyes and delicate features. Years of sun exposure had left her face decorated with freckles and when the girl smiled at him her smile always met her eyes. There was also the fact that he found her raw talent immensely attractive. He had never come across a more worthy opponent. Despite this undeniable attraction to her physical appearance and force ability, he would never willingly tie himself to a woman whose ideas and goals were so unaligned to his own.

"We are a lot alike, you and me. You love me." Rey responds, breaking him from his thoughts. There were only a few people that Kylo Ren had ever loved. His mother for one. Despite all her faults, he loved her. He had loved Han Solo too...once. Perhaps he still does in a way. Chewbacca maybe. But how could he love this stranger? He can't even stand himself.

"You don't honestly believe that."

"I do. If there is one thing in this world I know, it's that you love me." The tone in her voice leaves little room for disagreement.

He scoffs. "And I suppose you love me back?"

"I take it back. If there is one thing in the world I know, it's that I love you." Kylo had to admit that he was taken aback by the scavengers raw honesty. "Come on. Bring on more questions. I'm ready."

"How could you love Kylo Ren?"

"Easy. I didn't fall in love with Kylo Ren. I fell in love with Ben Solo." The corner of the scavengers mouth turns up in a smirk. She knows that his birth name strikes a cord with him.

"Ben Solo no longer exists."

"He does. And he is kind and intelligent and compassionate and sensitive and confident and occasionally really funny.."

"I still don't unders…" He tries to interject, but the scavenger keeps going.

"He is occasionally very moody and is terrible at holding his alcohol. He hates when I fall asleep with the holo on, because it wastes energy. He brings my lunch to work for me when I accidentally leave it at home. He is self conscious about his ears which I think is adorable. He has a brilliant smile and his laugh is one of my favorite sounds in the entire world. Ben Solo is very much real." This girl could not possibly be talking about him.

"I was never your enemy. Not really." Rey starts, then pausing for a second to collect her thoughts. "I was a child thrown into a war I knew virtually nothing about. I knew that one of the only people to ever show genuine concern for me was dead. You killed him, you injured my friend, and then you were coming after me. It was self defense, not revenge."

"I saw the look in your eyes on Starkiller. You wanted me dead. I figure that had the earth not between us you would have ended me there." She sits for a minute slightly caught off guard by his outburst.

"And did you want me dead?" She asked cocking her head to the side.

"Yes. No. I don't know." He surprises himself with his answer.

"Why would I rob myself of a relationship with the one person in this entire galaxy who could possibly understand what I have been through?"

"I'm sure.."

"You said that to me once," she interrupts. She looks down to fiddle with her wedding ring. "You may not understand it now, but you are my best friend." She slips the ring off her finger and places it on the bed next to him. "Seven years ago I fought Kylo Ren on Starkiller base. Three days later we discovered the force bond. A day after that Kylo Ren became the Supreme Leader. Six years and 5 months ago Ben Solo came home. Five and a half years ago the First Order fell. Five years ago I married my best friend."

Kylo looks down and picks the ring off the bed. The rings looks so small in his large hands. He realizes that he recognizes it. "My grandmother's ring?" Rey nods. He had given this girl Padme Amidala's ring. "She never actually wore this on her hands. She wore it on…"

"A necklace," she finishes for him. "I know."

"Hm." He grunts. "So, what? We fell in love and now we have a perfect life together."

"Our lives are far from perfect, but we're happy. "

"None of this makes any sense to me." He whispers. He holds the ring back out to her and when she takes it, her hand brushes his own. Even this brief contact makes him uncomfortable.

"I know, babe. I'm so sorry. We'll get through this together. We've made it through much worse." Kylo is genuinely unsettled by her comfortableness with him. She considers him her equal.

He can detect no fear in her eye. Growing up, even his own family had been afraid of him. His own uncle has considered killing him.

"Have we?" He asks.

"Oh, yeah. What's memory loss compared to exploding planets?"

"I suppose." Kylo's brow furrows. "So, where do we go from here?

"Well, from a medical standpoint, you are cleared to go home. If you want to go home...otherwise you can stay here until your memories come back." She stands up from her chair. "I'll leave it up to you. I would...I'd like it if you came home."

Where is home? What planet am I even on?"

"Coruscant. It's nicer now. I promise. We have an apartment downtown."

"No fairy tale cottage by a lake somewhere." He bit back sarcastically.

"You and I are a bit too dark and twisty for fairytale anything." She smiles softly. "What do you say to coming home? It might help jog your memory. And I might be able to take the force suppressors off."

At this point, Kylo figures he has very little to lose. "Yeah. I guess that's fine."

Rey lets out the breath she had been holding. "Okay. I'll go get you signed out." Before walking out the door she stops at a duffle bag in the corner and pulls out a stack of clothes. "Here." She tosses him the pile. "I brought you something to change into."

"Thanks." He looks at what the girl...his wife...had thrown him. Black leggings, a long sleeved grey shirt, and a black vest. Unfamiliar, but not completely unlike him.

He manages to get dressed before Rey returns. He finds a pair of knee high boots Rey must have brought and slips them on. Once he has his boots on he hears a knock on the door. An older women, he recognizes as one of his nurses, walks in.

"Okay, dear. I have to do a discharge assessment before I can let you out of here. Should take no time at all. Sit down now. Let's get a move on." Yet another person who is completely unintimidated by him. Suddenly the woman's hand is tilting his forehead back and she is directing a light into his eye. "Alright, pupils are equal and reactive to light. That's good."

"Where's Rey?" He asks trying to swat the woman away after she starts pulling on his ears.

"Mrs. Solo ran to pull the speeder around front. She is a feisty little thing. We tried to make her leave after visiting hours ended yesterday and she just about chewed our heads off."

"Hmm."

"Alright then, Ben. Everything looks good. You take good care of yourself, you hear?" Before he knows it, the woman has pulled Kylo into a very warm hug.

"Do I know you?" He pulls back.

"I've been working here a long time, boy. I've been your nurse every time you or Rey have found yourselves in here. Nursed you both back to health after the war ended. It took a lot of work. You two were just about in pieces. Try to keep yourself out of trouble."

"Thanks." Ren says unsure of what else to say.

"Alright, boy. Go find your wife. Get those memories back. I don't want to see either of you back here until that baby is born." And with that, the woman walks briskly from his room.

"What?" He follows the woman into the hall.

In that moment, Rey entered the building with speeder keys in hand. Ren realized what he had overlooked before. Barely noticeable beneath the oversized sweatshirt was a bump. The girl is pregnant.

"Kriff."


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

This entire situation has been hard for Kylo to stomach. However, this most recent revelation has made him sick to his stomach. A baby. Not only was he married, but somehow he and the scavenger had procreated. He hates children. He hated children when he was a child. He had never had any desire to have one of his own. In fact, he would consider children a relationship deal breaker.

"Ben, you ready?" Rey suddenly appeared at his side. She has the duffel bag she had brought his clothes in thrown over her shoulder. "I think I've got everything."

"Yeah." He chokes out. He can't help but continue to stare at her midsection. However, she doesn't seem to notice. She's probably not that far along, he thinks. Although he really knows absolutely nothing about pregnant women.

"Okay. I pulled the speeder around front. Let's head out." Before he can protest, she's interwoven her fingers with his and is walking him towards the door.

He can't remember the last time he has actually held hands with someone. He remains quiet as they make their way out of the hospital. Once they exit through the large sliding glass doors, Ben's eyes land on a very nice, very expensive looking black speeder. He can't help but be excited when Rey drops his hand and moves to the driver's side. This is the kind of speeder he used to dream about owning as a kid.

"Are you going to stare at it or are you going to get in?" Rey smirked.

He wastes no time getting himself into the speeder. The sudden change in position causes his head to spin. He closes his eyes and leans his head back, resting it against the seat.

"You good?" Rey asks placing her hand on his right knee. He nods. "Okay." She nods in return and removes her hand from his leg. And with that they take off. The speeder rides as smooth as it looks. They ride in silence for several uncomfortable minutes. Rey was right. Coruscant was not as frightening or run down as it used to be. It was bustling with activity. High rises were being constructed. There were theaters and shopping centers. Restaurants and nightclubs.

"How long have we been living here?" He broke the silence. He would get to the baby situation eventually he just needed a little time.

"Um. About four and a half years. You and I traveled for a bit right after we were married. Before that, we lived on the Resistance base in the outer rim. It's nice. We really like it here."

They are stopped at a traffic light now, Rey's hands drum against the speeder's controls. "Traffic is always bad this time of day."

"Hm." Ben replies, not very comfortable with small talk. He had never been good at that. "You're clearly pregnant."

Rey sighs and turns to him. "Yes, I am."

The light changes and Rey picks up speed.

"And it's mine." Kylo struggles to keep his voice calm and even.

"Of course it's yours." He can feel himself beginning to panic. Rey hand returns to his knee in an attempt to comfort him. "Don't panic, Ben. We are excited about this."

"I don't do kids." He snaps. "I would never willingly bring a child into this world."

"Ben…"

"I'm not finished yet." He barks. "I would never condemn a child to continue the Skywalker legacy. That would be the worst form of cruelty."

"Ben, I promise you. It's going to be okay."

"I'm not cut out to be a father." This time his voice cracks and he can't keep a lone tear from slipping down his face. He can't help but think of Han Solo. He had killed his own father, but mere hours ago. He had no business being a father.

"You already are a father, Ben." She says gently.

"What?" His blood runs cold.

"We had this same conversation a over four years ago when I found out I was pregnant the first time."

"No." He chokes out.

"Yes. We have a daughter, Ben. She just turned four years old." A daughter. He has a daughter he can't remember. It wasn't possible. He would have never allowed that to happen.

"I obviously knew we would be having this conversation, but I was hoping that we would be in our apartment and not is this speeder. Can you hold it together for just a second?" She pleads. "I understand your fear and confusion more than you know and I will answer every question you have. Hold tight, we will be home shortly."

With that, Rey pulls up to a large, gated apartment complex.

"Ben, if you look in the compartment in front of you there are two ID cards. Grab either one and hand it to me if you please." He does as she asks and pulls out the first card. Across the top, it says "Four Moons Apartments - Floor F." His eyes roam to the picture located below. It's a picture of the Scavenger and underneath it says "Rey Solo."

With a sigh he hands the ID badge over to Rey who uses it to swipe in. Curiosity gets the better of him and he grabs the second card and is startled to see his own face staring back at him. He's not smiling in this photo, but he doesn't seem unhappy. When he looks closer, he can see the scar that splits his face.

"Okay. We're here." Kylo hadn't even noticed they had parked. He steps out of the speeder and takes in his surrounds. They are standing on a private landing platform, deck type space. There is a set of chairs and a table sitting in the corner. Rey moves towards the door.

A black mat sits in front of the sliding glass door leading into the apartment. There is a tiny pair of muddied brown boots sitting in front of the door

"Wait." Kylo lunges towards Rey grabbing her upper arm. "Is she here? Our..the child. Is she inside?" He stutters.

"No. She's with Poe Dameron and Kaydel Ko Connix right now."

"Okay." He allows himself to breathe.

"Let's go on in and talk. Okay?"

He nods and allows Rey to lead the way.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Kylo wasn't exactly sure what he was expecting when he crossed the threshold into, what was supposedly, his home. The first thing that struck him was the openness. The room was flooded with natural light. He turns around to find he wall behind him is made almost entirely of windows and offered a very impressive view of the bustling city outside.

"Welcome home," Rey stands beside him following his gaze. Home was such an abstract concept to Kylo. How long had it been since he had a place to call home? He was never at home at the Jedi academy and he was never on one particular First Order ship long enough to consider he quarters there a permanent residence. He allows his eyes to wander throughout the space. He was intrigued to find that it was mostly decorated in shades of grey and dark blue. Occasionally some green was incorporated. It was also very clean. When the scavenger first stood before him on Takodana, she had been caked in dirt and sand. He had expected their residence to reflect that, but no, the kitchen was immaculate with shining, state of the art appliances. The windows were spotless. The floors swept.

"We aren't big on clutter," Rey's voice brings him from his thoughts. "You were in charge of the decorating. I tried to help, but you told me that growing up in an AT-AT disqualifies me from any important interior design decisions." She laughs lightly.

He had to admit that the furniture choices looked like something he would choose. It was stylish and sleek, but also somewhat utilitarian. There was a large seating area surrounding an entertainment center meant for watching holovids.

Despite its cleanliness, there were signs of domestic life. On the couch is a child's blanket and a stuffed porg. A pile of bills sits on the counter. There are a few post-its on the fridge. A mug sits on the coffee table. There are photos too, but he is not sure if he's ready to see them. Maybe just one...He walks over the the wall to gaze at a black and white photo. It's of his mother looking just a few years younger than the woman who stood before him this morning. She's not alone. She has a newborn swaddled in her arms. He can make out little more that a pinched face and a crown of dark hair.

"That was taken the day she was born. Your mom was the first person to hold her after you and me." Rey suddenly reappears at his side.

Kylo struggles to find a response. "What's her name?" he asks quietly.

"Padme Hope Solo." He nods. Another tribute to his grandmother. His wife has her ring and his daughter has her name. Once again, the shock of this situation begins to overwhelm him. His face feels flushed and his stomach turns.

"Where's the fresher?" He rasps with a sense of urgency. Before he knows it, Rey has her hand wrapped around his wrist and she's pulling him down the hall to his left. She uses the force to push open the door and guides him over to the toilet where he proceeds to puke his guts out.

He feels Rey kneel down beside him, but he can't bring himself to look at her. He is ashamed of this clear display of weakness. "Oh, Ben," she sighs as she begins rubbing circles on his back. It comforts more than he would ever admit. He leans forward to empty his stomach once again which causes Rey to stiffen.

"Kriff." She whines. She flings her arm out to grab the trash can sitting next to the toilet and before Kylo knows it she's also throwing up.

"I'm the one having a life crisis," Ben spits. "Why are you throwing up?"

"I'm pregnant. I can't help it." She cries with her head in the trash can. Suddenly, her body is shaking and he fears that something is very wrong. Then, he realizes she's laughing. She pulls her body upright, leaning her head against the wall. Her smiles splits her face and tears spring to her eyes.

"How can you even begin to think this is funny?" He asks, resting his head in his hands.

"I don't know." She giggles. "I think I'm laughing to keep from crying." She wipes her mouth on the sleeve of her sweater. "I'm good. Are you good?"

He takes a moment to assess the state of his stomach. "I think so."

"Alright, let's go brush our teeth. And I need to change. I feel disgusting." She manages to pull herself in a standing position and reaches her hand out to help him up. He accepts.

He follows her into the hall. "Padme's room is right there." She states pointing to the room on the left. There is a giant "P" made of flowers on the door. "If you go down the hall, next to the kitchen there is a spare bedroom and a gym. And here, is our room." She swings open the door at the end of the hall.

They pass through the bedroom and into a large master bathroom where she shoves a toothbrush and paste into his hands. With her toothbrush hanging out the side of her mouth, Rey walks back into the bedroom leaving him alone. He stands in front of a mirror for the first time. He allows his hand to trace the scar splitting his face in two. Besides, the healed wound, he feels he looks largely the same...maybe a little younger if that was possible.

He rinses his mouth and turns to relocate Rey. When finds her, she is changing clothes and her condition is much more noticable. He looks away quickly, focusing his gaze on the unmade bed. He sits on the edge of the bed and to his embarrassment he finds a pair of woman's panties tangled in the sheets.

"Ben. I'm dressed now. You're safe to look," she chuckles. "C'mon follow me." She brings them back to the main area, but not before stopping to grab a box from the hall closet. She sets the box on the kitchen table. She yanks a chair out for him. "Sit."

He does as he's instructed. She pulls a couple of glasses from an overhead cabinet and fills them with water. She plops down in the chair next to him and slides him a glass.

"If you didn't have a head injury and I wasn't pregnant, we would have this discussion over whiskey, but I think water's the best we can do." She slides the box closer to her and pops the top off. She digs through the box until she finds what she is looking for. A large manila envelope. Before she can go any farther, a small black disk in the middle of the table begins to buzz.

" _Incoming communication from Poe Dameron,"_ A robotic voice speaks echoes throughout the room.

"I've got to take this." She says pressing a small green button. Suddenly, a hologram of the resistance pilot appears in the middle of the table. He looks surprised that she answered.

"Rey, thank the maker. I tried contacting you earlier, but you didn't answer." He is talking so fast he trips over his words.

"We just got home, Poe. What's up?" Rey's brow furrows.

"Is Ben dead?"

"What? No. Why would you ask that?" Rey reaches over to swing the hologram in Ben's direction.

"Christ, Ben. It's good to see you." Kylo flings his hand in a half-hearted wave.

"Poe, what's going on?" She pulls the image towards her.

"Okay. So Finn and I took Padme to that pod racing museum downtown. She was having a blast and seemed like her normal chatty self. Then, like two hours ago, she starts having this meltdown of massive proportions. Like, Rey, she was crying so hard she couldn't even speak. Finn finally got her to calm down enough to articulate what was making her so upset and she said 'I can't feel my daddy in the force anymore. I think he's dead.'"

"Damn it." Rey hits her fist against the table. "That's my fault." She leans forward to toy with the force suppressor cuffs on Ben's arms.

"We've been panicking. We tried getting ahold of Leia, but she never picks up. The hospital wouldn't tell us anything."

"Ben, panicked when he woke up, so he was put in force suppressing cuffs. They cut off my force connection with him. I should have known it would have affected hers as well." She pulls a pin out of her hair and is using it to mess with some of the settings on the band. "I'm going to lower the settings slightly. She should be able to sense him again."

The band beeps and all at once Kylo can feel his connection to the force restoring. The first thing that strikes him is the lack of Snoke's influence. Then second is the strong connection he feels to the woman sitting next to him. He feels someone lingering on the outskirts of his mind.

 _Can you hear me?_ It's Rey's voice though her mouth never moves. He nods, his chin quivering, overwhelmed with the strength of the connection.

"Alright, Poe. I've fixed it. Is Padme okay?" Kylo can feel it. Her panic. Her concern. Her love for the child. Her love for him.

"Well, she cried so much, that she fell asleep. I would hate to wake her now. Rey, it was so bad. She had me and Finn crying in the middle of the museum. It was heartbreaking. We were a mess."

"I feel terrible." Rey whimpers. "Can you bring her home? Please. I need to hold her."

"Yeah, for sure. I think she needs to see you guys. Are you going to be okay with her tonight? Leia had told us all about the memory loss stuff this morning. That's going to be a rough time."

Rey locks eyes with Kylo who gives her a nod of approval. He may not remember anything about this child, but he knows what it's like to miss a parent.

"Yeah. We'll be fine. We can give Leia a call later, if we feel that it's unsafe for her to stay the night, but I think we are going to be just fine."

"Alright, well Finn and I will drop her off. It will probably be about 30 minutes or so."

"Okay, thanks Poe. Give her a kiss for me."

"Will do. See you both soon." With that, the connection is severed. Rey turns to face Kylo.

"Alright, I'm going to do my best to get you somewhat up to speed before she gets home. Are you ready?"


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

"Are you ready?"

He nods. She rips open the manila envelope. "Alright. I've got a ton of photos spanning the past six and a half years or so." She pulls a handful of photos out. "Alright, these were taken by some resistance photographer on the base on Hoth. You are definitely in some of those. That was right after you defected." She slips them across the table.

She was right. He was in many of these photos, but not a single one of them looks familiar. There are photos of intelligence meetings. Everyone is gather around the table, except for Kylo who stands alone in the corner. There are photos of Rey repairing speeders, of his mother giving speeches, of him shouting over a headset. He stares at a photo of Poe, Rey, and himself. There are in a hanger and are all wearing the offensive orange flight suits. Rey stands in the middle and has her arms thrown around the both of them. Poe's got his signature dashing smile while his own face just looks uncomfortable.

"How did I come back?" He asks flips through photo after unfamiliar photo. She continues shuffling through the box.

"Well, you assumed position of Supreme Leader after killing Snoke. You told Hux that I killed him. He didn't buy it."

"And he planned to kill me." He mutters.

"He planned to kill you. Convinced most of the Knights of Ren to help him. All except for one."

"Ataro Ren?" She was the only knight who had even been truly loyal to him or not the First Order. The others had only been afraid.

"Yes. She warned you and smuggled you off the ship they were planning to blow up." Kylo could tell by Rey's face that she thought foundly of Ataro.

"Let me guess. They blew it up thinking I was still on it and I was assumed dead." He internally curses himself for not getting rid of Hux when he had the chance.

"Exactly. And who did you contact when you had nowhere else to go? The little desert rat from Jakku." She smirks. He can see she's set aside another set of photos for him. "You were having a hard time even before Hux's plot to overthrow you. You had given everything for the First Order and they gave you nothing in return. I think you lost sight of what you were really fighting for. The pull to the light was stronger than ever now that Snoke was gone."

"So what, I came waltzing into the resistance base and was welcomed with open arms?"

"Not really. I came to get you and brought you in restrained. Our numbers were so small then, we were desperate for anything that would give us an edge over the First Order and you delivered. You gave up all intel, some of it took some persuading." She slides the second stack of photos his way.

"What's this photo?" It's of a large Resistance cruiser. Rey is there stumbling under the weight of nearly unconscious Kylo Ren. Despite, the obvious discomfort she's smiling. Behind her, he can see FN-2187 with Poe Dameron tossed over his shoulder, his fist is raised in celebration.

"That's the day the First Order fell." She smiles. "I passed out right after that photo was taken. We were all in the med bay for two weeks."

"Why am I alive?" he asks quietly. Rey's face twists in confusion. "Why was I allowed to live?"

"It's surprising how much people can forgive when you prove to them you are redeemable. We were exhausted, Ben. There had been enough death caused by both sides of that war. No one was anxious for more." She glides her tiny hand over his own.

"Okay, hopefully that will make more sense to me later."

"I'm sure it will," she responds confidently. "Alright. What next?"

"You and me. Explain, please."

"Okay. Bottom line, you and I were both very broken people. Once the war ended, we both felt like we no longer had a purpose. We were both instrumental in bringing an end to the fight. Once it was over, I felt like I was going to be discarded."

Fear of abandonment was something Kylo could relate to very well. He had struggled with it his entire life.

"Go on," he prompts.

"I was force sensitive, but I felt like a nobody."

 _You have no place in this story. You come from nothing. You're nothing._ Kylo recognizes his own voice. He sees Rey standing in front of him with tears running down her face. A memory.

"I told you that you were nothing," he whispers.

"But not to you," her smile is sad. "A backhanded compliment, but I think you thought that you were saying the right thing at the time. A memory. That's good, Ben."

"For what's it worth, I'm sorry I said that."

"I know you are. Anyway, life kind of moved on after the war and you and I felt out of place. People started making plans and settling down. Your mother threw a ton of celebratory parties"

"Leia Organa always loves a good party," he chuckles lightly.

"That she does. During these parties, you and I would steal a bottle of Corellian Whiskey from the bar and get piss drunk outside while everyone else celebrated. Poe called it the 'Ben and Rey pity party.' That's how our friendship started." She chuckles and hands him a photo. It's clearly from one of the parties. It's of Finn dancing with some girl, but in the background he can see himself walking out the door with a bottle in both of his pockets.

Another photo is of him and Rey, sitting on a bench outside. Her head is resting on his shoulder. "How did we become more than friends?

"Well, Finn had gotten together with Rose. Poe has started hooking up with Kaydel. And I was the 5th wheel on all of our group outings. So, I started making you come along, because you were my only other friend."

"I'm sure they loved that," he says sarcastically.

"They warmed up to you eventually. We used to have to put a couple of drinks in you before you would talk to anyone. One time we got you so drunk that we had to carry you out. Your mother was not impressed."

He flips through photos of him with this group of people who were supposedly his friends. In many of these photos, Rey is sitting in his lap or his arm is draped over her shoulders.

"Suddenly, you and I were more than friends. With the force bond, you and I were communicating almost constantly. We experienced this connection that no one else could possibly understand. You used to come into my room at night when I was have terrifying nightmares and you would hold me until I fell back asleep. You were the closest relationship I had ever had."

He grabbed another photo. It's of his wedding day. Rey has on a elegant white, lace gown. She's stunning. He has on traditional Alderaanian wedding robes. They look so happy. He can't remember the last time he's seen that kind of joy on his own face.

"When you asked me to marry you, I could not say yes fast enough. I was getting ready to do the asking." Rey's current smile rivals the one in the photo he is looking at. "That night we rented a ship and we took off on our tour of the galaxy."

"Where did we go?"

"Everywhere," she exclaims. "I made you go to Jakku first. I wanted to show you, in person, where I grew up. That was important to me. After that, you took me to all of your favorite planets."

"What was your favorite?"

"Naboo. It was breathtakingly beautiful. We staying on your grandmother's estate."

Kylo remembers this estate well. Rey is right. It is breathtakingly beautiful. The sunrise is unparalleled and the waterfalls are stunning. It's peaceful. His mother used to bring him there often as a child. They would wake up before sunrise and have breakfast on the balcony.

 _Suddenly, he is standing on that balcony again. Only this time, he's with Rey. She's sitting in one of the chairs with a blanket wrapped tight around her. However, something wrong. The air is tense. Rey's eyes are puffy and bloodshot._

" _What's wrong?" he hears himself ask. Suddenly, Rey bursts into tears. He kneels down by her side and places his large hand against her face. She leans into him. "Rey, tell me what's wrong."_

" _Ben, I'm pregnant." He feels his whole world crashing down around him._

"We found out you were pregnant on Naboo," he confirms.

"Yes. When you and I were talking about our future together, you made it very clear that you did not want children to be a part of it. We were on the same page. I had no desire to be a mother. Pregnancy on Jakku was a death sentence."

"Did we not take the necessary precautions to prevent it from happening?" he probes curiously.

"I was previously told that years of malnutrition had left me unable to have children. There was no reason to," she states.

"So, the child was a surprise."

"A very unwelcome surprise," she clarifies. "You and I were terrified."

He isn't even sure he wants to ask the next question. "I don't mean to sound insensitive, but did we think about...um...ending it."

"I was too far along," she says softly. The look in her eyes told him that termination had been discussed. "The force works in mysterious ways, because I think had we discovered it sooner we would have done it. We were that devastated."

"What did we do?"

"We didn't handle it well. We cried ourselves to sleep almost every night. My parents had sold me for drinking money. You felt abandoned by yours when you needed them most. Now, we were expected to bring an undoubtedly force sensitive child into the world. We didn't talk about the baby. I only went to doctor's appointment because you made me. We were living in major denial."

"What did my mother do? I bet she was ecstatic," he asks. He knows that his mother always longed for a granddaughter. She had saved all of Padme Amidala's things in the hopes of passing them on.

"We didn't tell your mother until like two weeks before I had the baby. We came back for Finn's wedding. I was clearly very pregnant. Your mother was pissed that we didn't tell her. In hindsight, we should have. She made me cry. You made her cry. Everyone was a mess." He feels some level of regret radiating off her.

"So what changed?" He has a hard time figuring out how they managed to pull themselves together.

"Padme was born and everything changed." She's clearly remembering the event foundly. "I am going to let you remember most things on your own, but I would really like to share this with you."

 _Suddenly, he's running through a hospital. He bypasses the nurses station. He doesn't need to ask what room she's in. He can sense her._

 _He storms down the hall and bursts in the door._

" _Ben," Rey gasps from the bed. Her face is red and she is drenched in sweat. His mother stands by holding a cold compress to her head._

" _Excuse me, sir. We are going to have to ask you to leave," the medic tells him sternly._

" _Like hell I'm leaving. That's my wife," he shouts attempting to get closer to her._

" _Sir, I'm not sure what the medical practices are on your planet, but it is not standard practice here for the fathers to be present in the delivery room."_

" _Listen. That is my baby. I am force sensitive, so is my wife, and so is my mother. Would you like to tell me again that I cannot be in here," he yells._

" _Fine. You may stay. Your mother will have to leave though." The medic backs down quickly._

 _His makes eye contact with his mother who gives him a nod. He crosses over to where Rey is lays. She has tears streaming down her face._

" _Ben, I can't do this. I can't be a mom," her voice cracks more with each word she speaks._

 _Ben feels himself panicking. He's doesn't think he can do this either._

" _Listen, you two," his mother snaps. "You have both been through too much to be scared of a baby. Tackle this like you've tackled every other obstacle. Together."_

" _Okay," Rey only proceeds to sob more._

" _Alright, my girl, come here." Leia goes over, takes Rey by the shoulders, and leans her forward. "Ben, get in."_

 _Without hesitation, Ben climbs into the hospital bed behind Rey. He is able to bend his legs to settle on either side of Rey's body and he pulls her against him, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. He leans his head down near her ear._

" _I love you so much, Rey. I've got you."_

" _Ma'am, you need to leave," the medic snaps at Leia this time._

" _Alright, I'm going, you old cow." Leia takes a moment to kiss both Ben and Rey on the forehead before making her exit._

" _Mrs. Solo, it's almost go time. When I say so, I'm going to need you to push."_

" _No, no. I'm not ready yet. Ben, I can't I'm not ready. Tell her we're not ready" She turns up to look at him with nothing but fear in her eyes._

" _Sweetheart, I don't think that's our call anymore." He tightens his grip around her and presses kisses into her hair._

" _He's right, Rey. This baby is coming whether you want it to or not." Rey only whimpers in response. Then, she's suddenly hit with another contraction. Her hands fly up to grasp his own. "Alright, push."_

 _This cycle goes on for a while. The emotional aspect of this experience is only enhanced by the bond they share. He can feel everything. Her pain. Her despair. Her fear. He knows that she feels his in return._

" _Alright, Rey," the medic speaks sharply. "Your baby is almost out. If you can give me one good push this next time around that should do it. Can you do that for me, Rey?"_

 _She has her head leaning against Ben's shoulder, but she manages to nod her head. "I love you, Ben."_

" _I love you too. More than you will ever know." She gives his hand a solid squeeze before leaning forward to prepare for one last push._

" _Alright, good girl Rey, you're doing great," the medic continues to encourage her. "Okay. Now one, two, three, push." Her grips on his hands tightens one last time. Then, she let's go and falls back to rest against his chest._

 _That's when they hear it. A cry._

" _Congratulations, it's a girl." A daughter. He has a daughter._

" _Rey, we have a daughter." He whispers in her ear. One of the aids brings the squealing pink baby to rest on Rey's chest. He can feel his wife tense up. They both take a moment to stare at this tiny human in front of them. It was real now. They can't ignore it any longer. They are parents._

" _She's so small," she whispers in awe of the tiny person. "We made that." She releases one of his hands so that she can rest hers gently on the baby's back._

" _We did." Ben can feel the tears welling in his eyes and he makes no effort to stop them from falling. "She's so beautiful." He uses his newly freed hand to rubs his daughter's full head of dark hair._

" _Hey, Ben," she whispers._

" _What?"_

" _She's got your ears," she giggles._

" _Poor thing." He brushes Rey's hair back so he can press a kiss to her temple. "She's got your nose though, thank the maker."_

 _Ben could tell something had changed in the both of them. The fear was still there, but something else accompanied it. Hope._

When Rey ended the connection, they both had tears pouring down their face.

"Tell me about her," he manages to choke out through his sobs.

"She's incredible. She's beautiful and smart and funny. She's everything that's good in this world. We resent the time we wasted wishing she didn't exist, because now we couldn't imagine a world without her in it. She gave us a purpose," Rey explains, her face lighting up despite her tears.

And with that, the doorbell rings.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

And with that, the doorbell rings.

Ben's head snaps up from where he had is resting in his hands. He can feel his heart begin to race and he struggles to catch his breath. Within seconds, Rey is kneeling beside him and her hands are on either side of his face.

"Hey. You're okay. You hear me? Everything is going to be okay," she says tenderly. She sends waves of calm across their bond. It helps, but only a little.

"I'm not okay. I don't remember anything about her. I don't know anything about being a dad," he continues to panic. Rey refuses to break eye contact with him despite his efforts to look away.

"Ben, I want you to reach out to feel what's on the other side of that door. Can you do that?" He nods. He allows the force to radiate outside of the bond he says with Rey. He can sense the resistance pilot outside and then he feels it. A strong force presence. Such light. His child is force sensitive...incredibly so. He reaches out tentatively to touch her mind. She's asleep.

"She's sleeping," he says breathily, closing his own eyes in relief.

"She's sleeping," Rey confirms. "That will buy you some time. She sleeps like a rock."

"Okay." He lets out a breathe he didn't realize he was holding.

"Plus, your mom had a discussion with her about whole memory loss thing earlier today. So she's not going to be completely blinded by your confusion." One of her hands slides down to give his shoulder a squeeze. "Let's go get our girl, Ben."

She uses him to hoist her body off the ground. She jerks her head, signaling for him to follow. Within a few strides, she's at the door. He chooses to stay back a few feet. She swings the door open to reveal the pilot with a small child in one arm and a few bags in the other. Ben can't get a good look at the girl. The hood of her purple jacket is pulled up, shielding her face.

"I come to return your offspring, but I also come bearing food," he says in hushed tones.

"My two favorite things." Rey leans in to give Poe a peck on the cheek. "My hero. Come on in." Rey grabs the bags from Poe's hand and passes it off to Ben.

"I went to the Twin Suns Diner down off of 11th avenue. Apparently you go there a lot, cause when I gave them your usual order, the guy at the counter asked if I was picking up for the Solo's."

"Okay, so maybe we need to find a new diner," Rey laughs lightly.

"Hey, man. Good to see you," the pilot exclaims as he gives Ben a slap on the back. "How the memories coming?" He still isn't sure about the extent of his relationship with Poe.

"Some stuff is coming back here and there," Rey saves him the awkwardness of replying.

"Hm. Just curious. What's your last memory of me, man?" Poe asks.

"That would be the questioning after your capture on Jakku," he answers quietly. He raises his arm awkwardly to rub his neck.

"Kriff, Ben," Poe says surprised. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, we're on good terms now. You haven't interrogated me like that in like three months. Wouldn't you say Rey?"

Ben's face pales. "What?"

Rey swats Poe's arm. "He's kidding, Ben. Poe, I love you, but I believe you have officially worn out your welcome. Now, give me my baby." She reaches her arms out to pull the sleeping child from his arms.

Poe makes eye contact with him mouthing a quick "Sorry." He gives Ben a friendly smile indicating there are no hard feelings.

"What are you up to next?" Rey asks once the girl is safely nestled in her arms.

"Well, Finn and I are going out to have a beer, or seven. Then, we will return home to the women in our lives and tell them that we no longer have any desire to have kids," he chuckles.

"Sounds like fun. Thanks for all your help, Poe," Rey replies guiding him towards the door.

"You know I'm kidding. We love Padme," Poe says with hands raised. "Let us know if you need anything at all. Goodnight."

"Night, Poe." She closes the door softly, taking care not to rattle the sleeping child.

"Are you still okay?" She looks at him with concern. "Poe was teasing you. You really are friends."

"We were friends when I was little. He was the son Leia Organa wish she had," he retorts a little sharper than he intended.

"Well, you've gotten over that cause you and Poe hang out all the time. If it makes you feel better, your mother once shot him with a stun gun."

"That makes me feel a little better," he smirks.

"And a mother doesn't love any child more than she loves her own. I can attest to that." She looks down fondly at her daughter. Their daughter. She looks back up a him. "Now, there's someone you need to meet."

She walks over to the large couch and settles in. Ben follows suit. Once he's made himself comfortable, Rey pulls back on the girl's hood revealing a mess of black curls. His curls. The child briefly becomes restless and he's afraid she is waking up. Her head turns facing Ben, but she falls back into a sound slumber with a sweet sigh. He gets a good look at her face. He can see Rey in the trail of freckles across the girl's button nose and the way her mouth turns down every so slightly. Rey rubs circles on the child's back, but quickly lifts her hand to move a mound of curls revealing some very familiar ears in the process.

"Told you." Rey smirks.

"I will take credit for those, but I would like to make it clear that Han Solo started it," he says softly, in total awe of the angelic face in front of him. How could anything so perfect come from him? "She looks like you."

"A little, but I think we can both see that she takes after her daddy more." Ben's thoughts are drawn to his own father. He hopes that he hasn't failed his daughter the way his had failed him. He realizes he has been projecting his fears when he feels Rey's hand intertwine with his own. "You are the best dad, Ben. She thinks the world of you. She's been a daddy's girl from day one."

He isn't sure how long he sits looking at her. How could he not remember this exquisite child? Rey thumb rubs soothing circles over his hand. He reaches out to touch his daughter's face, unintentionally mimicking Han Solo's final moment.

The moment they make contact, he's met with brown eyes that mirror his own. He inhales sharply drawing his hand back to his side. Padme watches him with inquisitive eyes.

"Hi," he stutters. He wasn't sure what else he could say.

He watches as her wide eyes fill with tears. "Oh, daddy," she cries as she throws herself off Rey's lap and into his own. He wasn't expecting the sudden physical contact. Before he knows it, there's a pair of tiny arms thrown around his neck and he can feel the girl's tears seeping through his shirt.

He's eyes dart around to meet Rey's, an unspoken call for help. She takes his hand and gently glides it up to rest on Padme's back. Rey scoots closer to the pair, her thighs now flush with Ben's. She lays her head down next to her daughter's on his shoulder.

"Hey, sweet girl. I'm so sorry we scared you. Your daddy is just fine. That was all my fault."

Padme lifts her head to look at her mom. "S'okay, Mommy," she sniffles loudly. "I couldn't feel daddy in the force," she sputters, stopping to hiccup. "And...I..got...so sad," she whimpers as tears continue to stream down her face. She turns to press chubby hands against Ben's face, as her mother had done not too long before. She then proceeded to shower him with sloppy wet kisses. Out of instinct, he draws his head away from her. When he sees the look on her face, he regrets it immediately. Betrayal. She quickly reaches out for her mother, who takes her swiftly into her arms.

Rey is apparently prepared for damage control. "Padme, do you remember what you and grandma talked about this morning."

"She said that daddy's memories are broken."

"That's right," she confirms as she runs her hand through the girl's curls.

"He still remembers me though. Right, daddy?" She looks at him with hopeful eyes and he wishes more than anything that he could tell her yes.

"I'm sorry." He shakes his head.

"Oh," She says. Her jaw quivers as she tries to keep from crying. Then, she turns to her mother and says, "Mommy, are we going to fix him?"

"Oh yeah. You and me, sweet girl. We will help him get all his memories back," she reassures the devastated child. This seems to calm her for the time being.

With newfound confidence, she turns to Ben, sticks her hand out and says "Hi, daddy. My name's Padme Hope Solo. I'm your best girl and I'm four."


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

" _Hi, daddy. My name's Padme Hope Solo. I'm your best girl and I'm four."_

He gently takes her tiny outstretched hand in his own and gives it a firm shake. For the first time, he realizes just how small she really is. He always been large, so really almost everyone was small in comparison. He can't even remember the last time he's been around a child.

"It's an honor and a privilege to meet you, Padme Hope Solo, age 4," he states. The way he says it is awkwardly formal. This response seems to please her. She gives him a devastatingly beautiful smile and a faint blush paints her cherub cheeks.

"What do you say we go eat that dinner that Uncle Poe brought home for us?," Rey asks. "You can tell me and daddy all about your day." Until now, Ben hadn't realized how hungry he is. Apparently his daughter shares that feeling, because she is off the couch and into the kitchen in a heartbeat.

"You did good, Ben." Rey gives him a reassuring pat on his right knee before heading to the kitchen. He follows closely behind. Padme is standing on a chair digging through the take out bags on the kitchen table.

"Hey, love. What have I told you about standing on the chairs?," Rey gently reprimands.

"Not to do it," Padme huffs before jumping down from the chair. She runs to grab Ben's hand and pulls him toward one of the chairs. "Here, daddy. You sit here between me and mommy."

He sits down just as Rey tosses some sort of wrapped sandwich his way. He notices she has something similar. Padme plops down in the seat next to him, her head barely seeing over the table. She can't seem to get her food into her mouth fast enough.

"Padme, what did you do with Grandma this morning?" Rey's begun eating, so he takes that as an okay to start.

"Um. We went to get breakfast. That was fun," she says with a mouthful of food. "After that grandma had to call some lady, so she tried to get 3PO to watch me for a sec."

"She tried to get him to watch you?," Rey asks mildly confused.

"I disabled him," she states matter of factly before grabbing a fist full of chips.

Ben almost chokes on his water. "How did you do that?"

"Why did you do that?," Rey asks simultaneously.

"He talks a lot," Padme shrugs. "Grandpa Anakin told me how and R2 helped me do it." At the name Anakin, Ben looks to Rey for some explanation.

 _We'll talk later._ Rey's voice interrupts his thoughts. He nods in acknowledgement. Was it possible that his daughter was talking to Darth Vader? He couldn't help but feel jealous over the thought of her having a connection to the man he had idolized for most of life. He does his best to keep his face neutral.

"I can't believe C3PO's still around." Ben shakes his head. No matter how many catastrophes that droid has been through, he always seems to make it out okay.

"Grandma says that bucket of bolts is the second worst thing Anakin Skywalker has done to this family," Padme states with a full mouth, clearly repeating his mother's words verbatim. Ben can't stop himself from snorting.

"C3PO is a relic," Rey defends the shining hunk of junk, but Ben can tell how hard she is trying to keep from laughing.

"He's okay though. I fixed him by the time grandma got back," she states proudly. Somewhere during this course of this conversation, Padme has managed to something all over her hands. Ben watches her evaluate the mess she's made. He can't fight the feeling that she's trying to decide between wiping it on her shirt or licking it off her fingers. Before she can act on her impulses, Rey is sliding a pile of napkins down the table.

"So what else did you do today besides torture the family droid?" Rey gets up and begins clearing the trash from the table.

"I hung out with Poe and Kay. They let me play with their lothcat," her brow furrows as she tries to remember what all she had done. "I went to the pod racing museum with Poe and Finn," she exclaims, her eyes lighting up in excitement.

"I bet you loved that." Rey ruffles her hair as she passes by.

"It was so cool. I saw this pod and thought of daddy so I tried to show him with the force. Then I cried and then I went sleepy...and that's it," she says throwing her hands up. She looks expectantly at the two adults in the room. "So now what are we going to do?"

In this moment, Ben realizes how much is head is beginning to throb. What he wants more than anything is to take some pain meds and go to bed. The thought of staying up much longer sounds miserable. He doesn't know if he would be able to take any more emotional turmoil this evening.

"You know, Padme. I was thinking we would let your dad take a shower and get ready for bed. How about you pick up something for me and you to do before bed?" Rey suggests

 _Thank you._ He makes his first attempt at speaking to her directly through their bond. He knows it's worked when she throws him a wink from across the kitchen.

Padme takes a moment to think things through. "Okay, mommy. Can we read a book?"

"I would love to read a book with you. Go pick one out." She doesn't need to be told twice. She's halfway out the kitchen before she decides she has to run back to give Ben a hug. He doesn't have time to react before she sprints off again.

"Alright," Rey says. "You're exhausted. C'mon. I'll grab you a towel and you can have some time to yourself."

"Thanks," he states quitely. He follows Rey back into their bedroom and into the bath. She quickly flips the shower on and reaches into one of the closets to pull out a fluffy black towel. It took him a moment before he realized that he recognized these towels. He had used one yesterday. "Uh...is this a First Order issued towel?"

"Ha, yeah. I had forgotten about that," she laughed rubbing her hand over the towel. "Poe once intercepted a First order shipment thinking it was going to be weapons, but it was actually towels. He gave you a monogrammed set for your life day last year. Finn too." She flipped the towel over the reveal "B. Solo" embroidered in red script. "He thinks he's really funny." The tone of Rey's voice tells Ben that she agrees that the pilot is really funny. He takes the towel from her hands.

"I'll let you shower. I don't know if you noticed, but you have a small cut on the back of your right shoulder. The bacta patch will need to be changed after you're done. I'll can do that."

"Oh okay, thanks." He watches her walk out the door.

"Call if you need anything," she calls back from the hallway.

He shuts the bathroom door, taking a moment to relish in the silence. This is the first time in hours where he's really been alone. When he undresses, he find physical proof of the time that has passed. He has scars over his chest that he doesn't recall getting. The bowcaster wound he thought he had obtained only hours ago was healed. Not pretty, but healed.

He hops into the shower. The rhythmic beating of the water feels incredible on his tense shoulders. For a brief period of time, he doesn't think of his new life, his wife, his daughter, his supposed friends. He doesn't think of anything at all.

When he emerges from the shower, he feels somewhat refreshed. He realizes too late that he didn't grab any sleep clothes. He tip toes into the bedroom draped only in a towel. There on the bed is a set of clothes folding neatly and there are pain meds with a glass of water on the night table. Is Rey always one step ahead of him? He quickly slips on the clean clothes and pops his pain meds. He supposes he should find Rey.

He pads lightly down the hallway and stops when he hears voices coming from Padme's room. He peaks in somewhat expecting to see pink frills. The child's wall is covered in posters of famous jedi and pilots. She has toys and stuffed animals. In the corner, he thinks he sees a droid. He finds Rey and Padme resting comfortably on the twin sized bed having just finished their book. Padme's back is to him.

He watches as Rey reaches a hand out to touch her cheek. "Alright, my love. It's time to say goodnight."

"Already? Are you tired mommy?" she asks sweetly.

"I am tired."

"Is baby tired?" Padme pressing her tiny palm to her mother's stomach.

"I would guess baby is very tired. We've had a long day," Rey states laying her hand over the childs.

"Okay, then. Nite nite, mommy."

"Goodnight, sweet girl." She pulls the child into a hug. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

"How much?" Padme asks giddily. Rey has her at arm's length now.

"Guess."

"More than your speeder," she guess.

"So much more."

"More than your lightsaber." Padme states intertwining her fingers with her mother's.

"Absolutely."

"More than C3PO," she giggles this time.

"Definitely more than C3PO."

"Do you love me more than you love daddy?" Rey stops to think about this one. She makes eye contact with Ben in the doorway and gives him a knowing smile.

"I love you more than I love daddy." Rey leans in so that her nose is touching Padme's. "Don't tell him I said so, okay?" Padme is struggling to suppress her giggles.

"S'okay, mommy. Last week daddy said he loves me more than he loves you," she lets out a full fledged belly laugh.

"He what?" screeches Rey. She's begun tickling the child's stomach who rolls back onto the bed. Her face is beat red. Her bright giggles fill the room. "What are we going to do with him?"

At this point, Rey swings the child around and tucks her into bed. "Do you know why we both love you the most?" She leans over the girl, sweeping her dark curls from her face.

"No, why?"

"We love you most, because we made you. We took the best parts of me and the best parts of your dad and we created the most amazing young lady." With that, Padme throughs her tiny arms around her mother's neck. Watching the interaction between the two was indescribable.

"I love you, mommy," a muffled voice says.

"I love you too, little love."

"I love you too, daddy." He hadn't realized she had sensed his presence. He quickly steps back out of sight.

"Good night, Padme," he says softly before slipping back down the hall.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

" _Good night, Padme," he says softly before slipping back down the hall._

He finds himself back in the bedroom, unsure of what to do next. He resigns to sitting on the bed to wait for Rey's return. The room has a lot of personal touches, he notices for the first time. A silver frame sits on the nightstand. On further inspection, he notices it's a photo of him sleeping on the couch with a newborn baby resting on his chest. Next to the frame, he recognizes his reading glasses. There's a book about the history of slavery in the outer rim. He flips through the pages noticing his familiar scrawl in the margins.

The click of the door closing pulls him from his thoughts. Rey's returned and for the first time he notices how exhausted the girl looks. She has dark circles under her eyes and her hair is tossed up in a half-hearted bun. Wordlessly, she walks over the the large dresser and pulls out her own sleep clothes. When she slips her shirt off, he looks away hurriedly.

"You know. You weren't this shy the first time I ever took my shirt off in front of you," she says playfully. His eyes dart back towards her and he finds her slipping on a pair of shorts.

"When was that?"

She's let her hair down and shakes it out. "Like six years ago." She grabs something from the duffle bag at the end of the bed and then stands in front of him with her hands on her hips. "Alright, shirt off."

"Wh..what?," he stammers.

"I'm not trying to get you naked, Ben. I need to change the bandages on your shoulder," she smirks.

"Oh, okay," he responds awkwardly. He can feel his cheeks burning. He slips off his cotton t-shirt as Rey moves to sit cross-legged behind him.

"I'm not used to you being so bashful," she says quietly. He shivers as her cold hands go to work on his shoulder.

"I'm not used to feeling so vulnerable. Ouch," he yelps as she rips off the bandage.

"Sorry. This is going to sting," she says quickly and she cleans the wound with alcohol. He hisses and fists the bed sheets beside him. "You're fine. You've had worse."

"How did I get knocked out anyway?," he asks with his teeth clenched.

"We took Padme to a street festival downtown. She ran ahead of us and was going under a walkway that someone was trying to hang a banner on. They lost their grip on it. You ran to move her out of the way and got yourself bonked on the head. It had a metal bar in it."

"Why didn't I use the force?" Surely he could have stopped a banner before it crushed the child.

"We've found that our instincts as parents sometimes over power our instincts as force users," she states simply. She's moved on to applying the new bacta patches. Her hands move quickly across his back.

"Why didn't you use the force to heal this wound?"

"Because," she presses a soft kiss into his shoulder, "you like your scars. Unless they are life threatening, you usually let them heal on their own." He couldn't say this way completely out of character. He was proud of his scars. They had always been a symbol of his survival.

He feels Rey moving and he leans forward so she can slip out from behind him. "Nope, come back," she orders. He turns around to find that she's sitting on her heels. He settles back into his previous position and her hands begin to play with his hair. He can't help, but lean into her touch as she massages his scalp.

"Ben, I'm going to leave the force suppressors on for now. Since I lowered the settings, you'll be able to feel everything, but that will be the extent of it," she explains. He's notices that she's slightly tensed.

"I won't try anything," he promises.

"I know. It's not that I don't trust you. I just...with Padme in the house...I would feel better with them on until you get more of your memories back. Fair?," she asks. This was merely a mother trying to protect her child.

"Fair," he agrees. Her hands leave his hair and he can't help but let out a small whine in protest. He hears her softly chuckle as she crawls to her side of the bed. She lays her head on her pillow with her body facing him. He decides to lay back mirroring her position.

Rey has one hand tucked under her head and the other resting on her extended abdomen.

"Tell me about that," Ben commands gesturing an arm towards her stomach. "I'm going to assume it was planned."

"Another accident actually," she laughed. "Well, sort of." He waited for her to give further explanation. "After Padme, I started getting birth control implants. They last for a year. You and I talked about having another baby last year, but felt it wasn't quite the right time. I switched to monthly birth control injections instead, so that we could started trying whenever we wanted."

"Are they less effective?"

"Well, the thing about the monthly injections is, you have to remember to get them in order for them to work. I missed one month. We are apparently very good at getting me pregnant," she says with a big smile. "It was a much happier occasion this time around though."

 _He and Rey are in a banquet hall._

"Where we at a party?"

"Yes," Rey confirms with enthusiasm. "It was a charity Gala that your mother made us go to in her place."

He remembers. At least, part of it.

 _Rey looks stunning in a red strapless ballgown. Her hair is twisted and braided into a bun at the nape of her neck. He sneaks up behind her and leans his head down to her ear._

" _I think I've scoped out the place. The wine is over near the entrance, but they have those Alderaanian spice cakes you like in the corner over by the silent auction."_

 _She spins around to wrap her arms around his neck. "Mr. Solo, you really know how to get a girl's attention."_

" _Food first, then wine? We are going to need both in order to get through this night."_

" _Affirmative. Let's go," she commands. She laces her hands through his and they weave through a full ballroom of people. They are stopped along the way by people inquiring about his mother or his daughter, so he and Rey make pleasant small talk._

 _They get to the dessert display and grab a small plate of food before finding their seats at a table. The both bite into one of the small little spice cakes. It's delicious. It was one of the only things Leia would make when he was growing up, so this food had always been on of his favorites. Rey's too. She's obsessed with them. He looks up to see her not so subtly spitting her bite into her napkin._

" _Ben, that was disgusting."_

" _What are you talking about? You've never met an Alderaanian spice cake you didn't like, Rey. Give me that." He reaches over to her plate to grab the remainder of her bite and tosses it into his mouth. "Tastes just like mine."_

" _It was so gross. How could you eat that?," she exclaims grabbing the water at her place setting and trying to rinse the taste from her mouth._

" _How could you not like that? It was incredible. The last time you spit one out was when you were pregnant with…oh my god," he stops short and looks up just in time to see Rey drop her glass on the table._

" _Ben," she pales. "I think we need to go up to our room now."_

 _He nods. "I think my mother will forgive us for leaving."_

 _He and Rey make a swift exit, taking great care not to run into anyone that might try and strike up conversation. As they pass through the lobby, Ben stops at the front desk. "We are going to need a med droid sent to room 304 as soon as possible."_

" _Right away, sir," the receptionist says._

 _When they get in the elevator, they are almost bursting with nerves. Rey's fidgeting with the beading on her dress._

" _Are you pregnant?," he asks._

" _I don't know, Ben."_

" _When was your last period?," he inquires, finding that he can't remember._

" _I don't know, Ben," she squeals. "I'm panicking a little here."_

" _You can't panic, cause then I'm going to panic, Rey," he barks. The door opens to their floor and Rey storms out and around the corning with Ben hot on her heels. His hands shake as he tries to get the key card into their door. When they burst into the room, they find the medical droid is already waiting for them._

" _She needs a blood test," Ben orders abandoning his outer dress robes. Rey sits on the bed and holds out her hand, waiting for the needle prick._

" _Blood analysis will take approximately 3 minutes," the droid states._

" _I can't just sit and wait," Rey states. She gets up and stands in front of the mirror. She starts taking off her earrings. Ben walks over to stand beside her._

" _Padme would be a really great big sister." Ben states making eye contact with Rey in the mirror. He can see the ends of her mouth turn into a small smile._

" _She would."_

 _They stand there in silence for the remainder of the 3 minutes. When the med droid beeps, they both tense up._

" _Results calculated. Blood work is positive for pregnancy, approximately 6 weeks gestation, but was otherwise unremarkable."_

 _Ben's hand reaches out to grab Rey's._

" _We're having another baby, Ben," she says and he can tell she's crying. When he turns to look at her, she has a giant smile on her face._

" _We're having another baby," he echoes her and he's sure his smile matches hers. In no time, her mouth is on his and he's not sure whose tears are whose. He wraps his arm around her waist and spins her around the room. A series of "I love yous" were exchanged._

" _I guess it's good we started with the spice cakes and not the wine, huh?," Rey laughs, wiping her eyes. Ben kneels down so he is at eye level with her abdomen and presses kisses to her still flat stomach. He is unbelievably in love with the mother of his children._

" _It looks like we won't be celebrating with wine for awhile." he adds._

" _I can think of another way to celebrate though," Rey says slyly as she works to undo the back of her dress._

"Some of that night is coming back to me," Ben says and he hesitantly reaches for Rey's hand which she accepts readily. "How far along are you?"

"Just shy of 5 months," Rey relies, rubbing circles on the back of his hand.

"Do we know what it is?"

"You and Padme are dead set on it being a girl. I'm carrying a lot lower than I did with her, so your Mom and I think it's a boy," Rey yawns. "We find out for sure next week." The lay in comfortable silence for awhile, as Ben takes time to think through his new reality. Rey briefly releases his hand so that she can go turn the lights off and when she slips back into bed, she leans over to kiss his forehead.

"Goodnight, Ben. I love you."

"Goodnight, Rey," he replies, reaching out to find her hand once again.


	10. Chapter 10

" _Goodnight, Rey," he replies, reaching out to find her hand once again._

He wakes before her. It seems his internal clock hasn't changed much. When he looks at the digital clock across the room, he can see that it's 5:00 AM standard time. Most of the city is probably still asleep. Taking care not to wake the woman next to him, he slips out of bed and quietly pads across the floor into the 'fresher.

While with the First Order, he had a strict morning routine. He's still not sure what his routine in in his new life. He splashes some water on to his face and begins picking through some of the drawers. He's able to locate his toothbrush from the night before and thoroughly cleans his teeth. After that, he's at a loss. He debates trying to go back to bed, but he knows that he'll just lay there. He's never been a good sleeper. He could always wake Rey up, but she looked so comfortable.

He eventually decides to wander into the kitchen to make himself a cup of caf. When he exits the bathroom, the light shines directly into Rey's eyes. Ben quickly hits the switch. She stirs for a moment, tossing an arm over her eyes, before falling back into a peaceful sleep. He strides across the room and into the hall, gently closing the door behind him.

The kitchen tile is cold on his feet and he debates running back to the bedroom to grab some socks. He starts to search through the various cabits hoping to find a mug. Along the way, he stumbles across a bag a caf. In the last cabinet, he finds all of the mugs eventually settling on one with a variety of clone war era ships on it. Now he just has to figure out how to make it. He can't remember when the last time he made his own caf was. He always had a droid do it for them.

"Hi." The quiet voice scares the hell out of him. He spins around quickly, the mug falling from his hand in the process. His naturally instinct was to throw his hand out to freeze whoever the intruder was, but he remembers that his connection to the force is severely diminished. He drops his hand.

Padme stands in front of him, hair wild from sleep. She's still in her pajamas. In one hand she clutches a fuzzy blanket and the other hand is thrown out in front of her. The mug. He had never heard it break. Looking around, he finds it suspended in front of him. Padme's face is slightly scrunched in concentration. Ben snatches the cup from the air and Padme visibly relaxes.

"Hi," he stammers.

"Morning, daddy," she says sweetly and steps forward to wrap her arms around Ben's legs. Her face buries into his knees. He is unsure how to respond to her act of affection and he ends up awkwardly patting her head.

"What are you doing up?"

"I wasn't tired anymore," she says looking up at him.

"Should I go get your mother?" He's not quite sure how to interact with the child without Rey's assistance. Her brow furrows.

"Why?"

"I don't know. Do you want her?" He hopes more than anything that she says yes.

"She's growing a baby and that makes her sleepy," she says stepping away from him.

"So that's a no?" Kriff.

The child lets out an exasperated sigh. "Let mommy sleep."

"Okay." They stand there for a few seconds just looking at each other. Her head cocks to the side.

"Daddy, you really need to get your memories fixed," she states blunty putting her hands on her hips and he can see just how much she takes after Rey, or maybe his mother.

"I'm sorry. I'm working on it." He didn't realize until now how desperately he wants her approval.

"S'okay, daddy. I'll help." She throws her blanket over her shoulder and waits for him to say something. He doesn't. "What are you doing?"

"I was just going to make myself some Caf. Uh, do you know how to do that?"

"Duh," she says pointing a tiny finger towards a gadget at the end of the counter. He manages to get it working.

"Alright, kid. I'm hungry. You want something to eat?"

"Always," she whispers.

"What do we usually feed you?" He has no idea what children eat. She runs over to the pantry and swings the door open. She points towards a shelf with a lot of cereals. He loves cereal. He grabs the closest box.

"You hate that." Padme says. He tries a different box. "You hate that too." The orange box. "No." He finally finds a small box of cinnamon flavored cereal and is met with a thumbs up. "I'll get the blue milk!," she shouts running to the refrigerator. "Daddy, get bowls. My arms are too tiny."

He does as she instructs and then they meet at the kitchen table. She has to carry the milk with both hands and has spoons wedged between her tiny fingers. Before he knows it, they are sitting across from each other, shoveling cereal into their mouths.

"What's your favorite color?," Padme asks mid bite.

Ben doesn't know if he's ever actually thought about his favorite color. He always preferred darker tones, but telling a child his favorite color is black seemed a little intense.

"I don't know. Grey?" The look on her face tells him this was not the answer she was looking for.

"Wrong. Your favorite color is red. Mine is blue and mommy's is green. What memories you got?"

"I remember meeting your mom."

Her little face crunches up in disbelief. "When she hurt your face?"

Maker, he wishes Rey were awake. "Uh...yeah," he says quietly. He afraid of where this conversation could take them. When he looks up, the girl is scrutinizing him.

"Mommy said you deserved it," she says "cause you were being a nerfherder. So, you still got all your Kylo Ren memories."

His blood runs cold. She knows.

"Yes,"

"Oh," she looks back down at her bowl.

As Ben has been adjusting to new reality, he hadn't felt ashamed about his time with the first order. Until now. There were children at Luke's academy who were the same age as Padme. And that village on Jakku...there were kids there too. Children her age were ripped from their parents arms and thrown in the storm trooper program. Over the course of 15 year, he had destroyed families, communities, even entire planets. How do you explain that to a child?

"S'okay. Don't be sad. I'm going to teach you to be my daddy. K?," she reaches across the table to pat his hand.

"Okay."

"First, we gotta clean this up," she orders gesturing toward the milk and cereal that's all over the table. Ben collects their bowls and she puts the milk back. Then, she pulls a chair up to the sink where he's started washing the dishes. She hops up next to him and grabs a sponge. "I'm helping."

"Didn't your mom tell you not to climb on chairs."

"How I am 'posed to help. I can't reach 'cause I have tiny legs. She won't know," her eyes narrow, "unless you tell her." That look was his mother through and through.

Ben shrugs his shoulders and hands her the spoons. It takes but a minute to wash their dishes.

"Now what, kid?"

"You and me always watch "Galactic Heroes" before mommy wakes up." She takes his hand and pulls him toward the couch.

"What's that?"

"Only the bestest show ever." She takes a deep breath and shakes her head. "We are gonna have to start over. The beginning is 'mportant." She scurries over the the giant screen and sorts through an assortment of chips before popping one in. She then takes off towards her room and comes back with a giant quilt. "It's cold."

He hasn't watched anything for enjoyment in years. "Galactic Heroes" appears to be some sort of animated series. Padme crawls up next to him and tucks herself into his side. She wiggles trying to make herself comfortable. She sighs. "No, daddy. You have to cuddle," she scolds. The frustration is clear in her voice. The only person he had ever snuggled with before was his mother. Padme takes his arm and forces it to wrap around her shoulders. She leans in with her head on his chest and throws the blanket over them both. "That's better."

It takes a while for him to get comfortable, but he finally allows himself to relax. Despite having seen this episode before, Padme is completely engrossed. He has to admit that he is as well. It's loosely based on historical events...very loosely, but it's good. They burn through episodes. At one point, Padme slides of his grip and runs to the pantry. She returns with a box of crackers and he holds his arm out so she can take her spot back. This earns him a thumbs up.

"Padme, why did they go back to that outer rim planet?" He pulls out a handful of crackers and returns the box to the child.

"They left that one guy there and he has the key to that chest they have to open, 'member?" She pulls the blanket up higher and tucks it under her chin.

"I forgot about him."

"He dies later," Padme states matter of factly.

"Well, thanks for spoiling it," he exclaims. He instinctively reaches up to ruffle her hair. She giggles and he thinks it's the greatest sound he has ever heard.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

 _ **She giggles and he thinks it's the greatest sound he has ever heard.**_

They make it through another two episodes before Rey wakes up. He can feel it the moment she does.

 _Ben...could you bring me a glass of water?_

"Hey. Your mom wants a glass of water," he tells her, freeing her from under his arm.

"Oh, that means she's got the pukes." She scrambles off the couch. Ben follows her to the kitchen and grabs a cup, filling it with water. "I want to see mommy too. I've got to give her some hugs." She holds her hands up, silently asking if she can carry the cup. He hands it to her and she takes off down the hall. He reclaims the cup after twenty-five percent of its contents end up on the hardwood floor.

When the reach the 'fresher, Rey is sitting on the floor with her eyes closed.

"Hey," Ben says softly.

Her eyes fly open and her lips turn up into a small smile. "Hey, you. What time did you wake? I didn't hear you get up."

"It was pretty early," he admits.

"It usually is," she nods in agreement, reaching out for the plastic cup. Padme waits for her mother to take a drink before making herself known.

"Morning, mommy," she yells, peeking out from behind Ben's legs.

Rey breaks into a toothy grin. "Little love, I didn't know you were up too." She holds her arms out and the little girl rushes into them. "What have you been up to?," she asks cradling her face in her hands.

"Watching "Galactic Heroes," she replies. "He doesn't remember any of it," she continues, throwing a pitied look at Ben. "We had to start over."

Rey laughs. "Well, I hope you get your memory back soon, Ben because there's about seven seasons."

"Mommy, is the baby awake yet?," Padme asks with excitement in her voice.

"Not yet, sweetheart." The child's face falls.

"Oh. Tell me when it is. I need to say good morning."

"Will do. Why don't you go get dressed. I'm gonna clean up and talk to your daddy a bit," she suggests gently.

"Are we gonna run forms?" Rey nods. "Okay," she states. She gives Rey a quick peck on the cheeks and heads towards her room.

Rey removes herself from the floor with a soft moan.

"Does this happen to you every morning?," he asks.

"At the beginning. It's gotten a lot better actually. I think with all the excitement over the last 48 hours my body decided it wasn't too happy with me," she states. "Enough about me, how are you doing?" She begins brushing her teeth.

"I'm okay. I think."

Spit. "Is your head hurting you?"

Now that she mentioned it, he head still hurt. "Moderately."

She grabs a pill bottle off the counter and tosses it to him. "Take one. Where you okay this morning with Padme? You could have woken me up," she states. She presses a kiss to his temple as she passes by him into their bedroom.

The kiss makes him lose his train of thought. This morning. Padme. "You looked...peaceful. I didn't want to ruin that. It was disorienting, but okay, I guess." They are both silent for a moment. "She reminds me a lot of my mother."

Rey smiles. "Her facial expressions?" He nods. "You do a lot of those too. Padme spends a lot of time with Leia."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Padme adores her. She was the first person, besides you and me, to hold her," Rey responds handing him a photo. His mother, regal as always, with a tiny bundle tucked in her arms.

"I remember that I think. She waited around the hospital to meet her?"

"Yes."

" _Congrats, mom and dad," the Medic states. "We have a few things we need to do before we are finished with mom. We also need to bring the baby to the nursery for a quick exam." Rey's eyes widen as the baby is taken from her arms. "Dad can stay here or go with the baby."_

" _Ben, go with her. Please. I don't want her to be alone," she pleads._

" _I don't want you to be alone."_

" _I'm not. Go. Please, Ben." He nods and follows the nursing staff down the long corridor towards the nursery._

 _When they get there, a different medic comes over the examine his daughter. He stands in the doorway. "Are you the father?," the older woman asks. He nods. "Come here then." He walks over to stand next to the crib. "This is a standard exam we do on all newborns. No need to fret, boy." He watches as she jots down various measurements, tests reflexes, and moves the baby's limbs. Ben doesn't speak until the baby lets out a shrill cry._

" _Is she okay?," he asks panicked._

" _Oh, she's just mad I'm moving her around. Baby Girl Solo here passed with flying colors." Ben lets out a sigh of relief. "Have you gotten to hold her yet?" He shakes his head. "Sit," she commands pointing to an armchair in the corner. He does. The medic shows him how to position his arms and gently places his daughter into them._

 _She begins to fuss and frantically he looks around to ask the woman for further assistance. However, she's nowhere to be found. "Hey there, kid," he says softly. She quiets slightly and opens her little eyes. Brown eyes. His eyes. "I'm your dad." He plays with her little hand and lets her tiny fingers wrap around one of his own. "I'm not really sure how to be, but I'm gonna do my best," he muses. "I've done a lot of really bad things in my lifetime. I'm sure you'll learn about those someday. Your mom saved me though. She's my best friend." He lets tears run down his face. "She's around here somewhere. She's incredible. You're going to love her. If you are even half the woman she is, you are going to be exceptional." He takes a moment to reach for her force signature. It's so powerful and so light._

 _He frees his hand from her grasp and reaches up to play with her soft curls. " Your mom and I were very lonely growing up. We were lonely, but then we found each other and now we have you. We were scared when we heard you were coming. We were afraid we aren't going to be enough. But now, I think we're going to be okay. We aren't going to be perfect, but we are going to try our hardest to do right by you."_

 _He leans forward so he can plant a kiss on the top of her head. He spends time memorizing every part of her tiny face. He counts her fingers and toes. Perfect. She's perfect. He's drawn back to the brown eyes that mirror his own. His mother's eyes. His mother._

 _He gently rises from the chair, taking care not to rattle the baby. He manages to find a medic in the hall._

" _Would it be okay if I bring my daughter out to meet her grandmother?"_

" _Absolutely. We put ankle monitors on all of our newborns. You can't take her off the floor, but the waiting room is within limits."_

" _Great, thanks." He follows the signs to the waiting room. It wasn't until he passed a clock that he realized that it's 3 AM. She might have gone home._

 _When he walks through the sliding doors, the waiting room is empty. Wait. Almost empty. His mother lay sleeping on a couch in the corner. There are numerous bouquets of flowers on the floor around her. He walks up quietly._

" _Mother." She sits up groggily, wiping the sleep from her eyes._

" _Ben. Is everything okay?"_

" _There's someone I would like you to meet." Her eyes flicker down to the bundle in his arms._

" _Oh, Ben." She makes space for him on the couch next to him._

" _You have a granddaughter." His mother holds out her arms and he gently places the baby in them. There is something deeply moving about his mother holding his daughter._

" _A girl...She's beautiful, Ben," Leia whispers and she can't keep her voice from cracking. She runs her thumb across the baby's cheek._

" _She is beautiful. She's perfect," he agrees._

" _She looks exactly like you." He mother smiles at him. "Except for that," she states tapping the baby's nose. "That's her mom's."_

" _She got my ears."_

" _You can't blame that one on me. Those are Solo ears. How's her mommy doing?"_

" _Rey's good. She did great."_

" _And how's her dad doing?" His mother shoots him a knowing look._

" _I'm scared." He chokes back his own tears._

" _You and Rey are going to be great parents," his mother consoles him. He lays his head on his mother's shoulder and she lets him cry. "Your father and I were in similar circumstances. You were a surprise while we were still tying up the loose ends of a war. All of the sudden, we were parents. You were the sweetest child. So affectionate. When you started showing your force sensibilities, your father and I were terrified. You always felt things more strongly than everyone else. I think our ignorance groomed you into being afraid of your own power. We sent you to Luke, because we thought he would help. It was never because we didn't want you."_

" _I missed you. Had you given me the choice, I would have stayed with you a hundred times over," he reveals._

" _We orbited the planet for two days, debating about whether to pick you back up. The day we dropped you off was the only time I ever saw your father cry." His mother lays her head on his._

" _He was afraid of me," he says sharper than he intended to._

" _He was afraid for you. We didn't know how to give you what you needed. I'm so sorry for that." she says and her voice is filled with regret. "You've learned from our mistakes. You know what made you feel loved and you know what made you feel like you weren't wanted."_

" _She's strong in the force"_

" _Of course she is. And she'll grow up with two very talented force users who will give her every tool she needs to succeed. You're not alone in this. You have help. Never be ashamed to ask for it," she says gently. "I, for one, am looking forward to spending time with this little princess."_

 _His eyes are drawn back to all the floral arrangements. "Did you bring all of these?"_

" _No. You have quite the crowd here. I sent them home a few hours back. It was late and I figured that you two had had enough excitement for one day."_

" _Thank you."_

" _I can't protect you when they all come rushing back first thing in the morning," she laughs._

" _Rey and I will enjoy the peace while it lasts." He can't help, but smile. Just then, his daughter decides to voice her displeasure. He tenses up everytime she cries._

" _She's fine, Ben. Oh, baby girl. You're okay," his mother says before sliding her back into his arms. The cries stop almost immediately. "See. She just wanted her dad."_

" _I can't stop looking at her. I didn't think I could ever love anyone as much as I love Rey, but I might have been wrong." Having her in his arms felt right. It felt like it was meant to be._

" _Go back to your wife, Ben. Treasure this moment together. Pick out a name. Relax while you still can."_

" _Okay. Thanks, mother. For everything...Rey and I will never be able to thank you enough for your support over the last few and a half. For what it's worth, I never blamed you for sending me away. Not really. I always felt like it was my fault," he says honestly. He and his mother had put off the conversation for too long._

" _There are many things your are at fault for Ben, but us sending you away is not one of them. I love you more than my own life. I love you and Rey and your precious little girl," she says, rubbing circles on his back. He can tell his mother is exhausted and he is too. He rises from the couch and she follows suit._

" _Goodnight. Love you," he says, kissing his mother on the cheek._

" _Goodnight, Ben. Give Rey my love. Thank you for making me a grandmother," she says, brushing his hair from his face. "And goodnight to you, little one." She bend down to kiss the baby on the nose."Welcome to the world. You're in good hands."_


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12 - Continuation of previous memory.

" _Welcome to the world. You're in good hands."_

 _When he makes it back to Rey, she is sitting up in bed waiting for him. With a wince, she hoists herself up and makes room for him to slide in bedside her._

" _How'd our girl do?," she asks holding out her arms. Ben passes the baby off._

" _She did great. Everything is fine," he reassures her. He wraps his arm around her waist pulling her and the baby closer to him._

" _Was she the prettiest baby in the nursery?," she jokes, never letting her eyes leave her daughter's face._

" _Of course. She looks like me," he deadpans. Rey snorts in response and lets her body lean back into his._

" _Ben? How did we make something so perfect?," she sighs._

" _Beats me," he states kissing the top of Rey's head. He had gotten somewhat emotional when his mother held the child...watching Rey cradle their baby was a religious experience. He didn't deserve them...either of them._

" _Did you get to see your mom?"_

" _Yeah. She's thrilled. She sends her love. She'll be back tomorrow...along with everyone else," he whines. He wishes he could have more time with just the three of them. However, he can't bring himself to push away the family and friends that Rey has built over the last couple of years. Even Finn doesn't bother him so much anymore. "Your fan club is going to want to know her name tomorrow."_

" _We never talked about names," she says. "It seems like such a big responsibility to give someone a name they will use for the rest of their life. What if she hates it?"_

" _She can always change it." He smirks._

" _Ben Solo, seriously. I'm not kidding." She jabs her elbow into his side, but he can see the ends of her lips turning up._

" _Sorry," he chuckles. "She needs a good, strong name." He reaches out to brush his hand over the child's head._

" _What was Han's mother's name?," she asks gently._

" _Jaina," he replies and Rey's nose wrinkles in response. His thoughts exactly. "As you know, my maternal grandmother's name was Padme."_

" _Padme…," his wife whispers and the baby's tiny brown eyes open. "I think she likes it." Rey looks up at him waiting for his approval._

" _She was a queen and a Senator. She helped with the early foundation of the Rebellion. That's a big name to live up to," he says slowly. "She had a good heart. She was strong too. Like you. Like I want our daughter to be."_

" _Is that a yes?," she asks hesitantly._

" _Padme Solo," he says testing the name out._

" _Padme Hope Solo," she corrects._

" _There it is." They sit there in silence watching their daughter..Padme's..chest rise and fall with each breath she takes. After a few moments, she begins to get fussy._

" _I think she's hungry," Rey says, slightly unnerved by the baby's unrest._

" _I'll get the nurse," Ben says hurriedly. Before he can get up, Rey pulls down her hospital down and allows Padme access to her breast. She wasted no time before she began to suckle. "Oh, I forgot how that worked."_

" _I don't think it was supposed to be that easy, but I'll take it," Rey chuckles. "You missed the breast feeding lesson. There was a doll and everything."_

" _What a shame…"_

" _I learned something truly horrific," she said looking up at him. "Ben, do you know how often babies need to eat? Every one to three hours."_

" _That sounds like you," he says, nuzzling into her neck._

" _You need to be nice. I just pushed your baby out of me," she says, stealing a kiss._

" _Forgive me," he says, smiling into her hair. "Maybe we should get some sleep before she needs to eat again?"_

" _I don't want to let her go."_

" _She'll be right here." Ben lifts the baby out of her arms and lays her in the bassinet across the room. When he realizes it's on wheels, he rolls it over so that Padme is situated right next to Rey's bed. He goes to grab the spare blanket from the closet, so he can sleep on the couch, but Rey pats the space on the bed beside her. "You need sleep," he states._

" _I always sleep best with you beside me. Please?" He can never deny her anything._

" _Fine, but feel free to kick me out whenever." He climbs in beside her. She leans in to give him a chaste kiss and then settles herself in the crook of his shoulder._

" _I love you, Ben. Thank you for our daughter."_

" _No, thank you. I helped with the fun part. You did the hard parts. I love you so much. Now sleep." And they do._

At some point while he was relieving this memory, he had sat down on the bed. Rey sits beside him with her hand in his.

"Are you okay?," she says quietly.

"Yeah. I'm fine." He's lying and he's positive that she knows it. With every piece of his life that comes back, things get more confusing. Most of these memories have been surrounding his daughter. Yet, he knows so little about his wife. He can feel the love present in the memories, but can't remember what made him love her in the first place.

"Okay." He can tell she's letting it slide. " I'm going to give you some more time to yourself. Padme's wanting to run forms. Maybe when I come back in when can talk some more? I'm sure you have more questions."

"Thanks," he states. "That sounds like a plan. I'm a little...a lot overwhelmed by all of this."

"I know you are and that's okay." She gets up and grabs something of the dresser. It's a holopad. "This is yours. Maybe looking through it will help? The password is your life day."

"Okay, thanks," he states, running his fingers through his hair. He grabs the holopad and follows Rey back out into the living area. He settles into his spot on the couch, while Rey joins their daughter outside on the deck.

He quickly plugs in the passcode and watches the holopad spring to life. He decides to look through his calendar first. There are various meetings and lessons he has scheduled that don't mean anything to him. Some other plans are slightly more self-explanatory. _Rey's 5 month appointment. Drinks with Poe and Finn? Electricity bill due. New Alderaan Celebration (Ask L.O. if we need to find a sitter for Padme.) 5 Year Wedding Anniversary. Pod Races w/ Rey (Padme w/ Finn/Rose)_

He decides to look through his communications next. There are various conversations with his mother. There is an extensive amount of communication between him and Rey. _My class this evening is struggling. I'll be home a little late. I'm sure I can come up with some way to make it up to you…_ Class? He's surprise to find FN-2187's name in there as well. Poe Dameron…

He shuts the holopad off and tosses it to the side. If anything, it raises more questions than answers. He glances out the window to find Padme running through Form 1 using a stick. So they were training her to wield a lightsaber? He scrutinizes the girl's form. Her elbow is too high. If she were holding an actual weapon, her center of gravity would be off. Just then, Rey's body appears in front of Padme and she gently readjusts the child's arm. She catches Ben watching them and gives him a knowing smile. She whispers something into Padme's ear and the child nods in understanding. Rey sneaks back inside and shuts the door quietly behind her. She grabs a glass of water from off the side table before joining Ben on the couch. He continues to watch Padme move through each position.

"That will keep her busy for at least an hour," Rey states, taking a sip from her glass.

"She's very focused."

"She takes after you in that regard. She loves training. She takes it very seriously." He can see that. He watches the little girls brow furrow as she concentrates on successfully executing her next move.

"So, what? Luke Skywalker has resurrected another Jedi Academy? Did he not learn after I cut the last one down?" Ben says nonchalantly.

"Ben, Luke is dead." Rey doesn't waste time sugar coating anything.

"Did I do it?"

His question seems to catch Rey off guard. "What?"

"Did I kill my uncle?," he asks again, cooly.

"No, Ben. You did not kill your uncle," Her hand reaches out to rest on his shoulder, but he quickly shrugs it off. "He sacrificed himself for the resistance."

"Of course he did," he scoffs. He had searched for that map to Luke Skywalker for so long. He was supposed to be the one to kill the last jedi. "When you went to him...did he tell you want happened?"

" _Did he tell you what happened? The night I destroyed his temple, did he tell you why?"_

" _I know everything I need to know about you," she snaps. There is a fire in the girl's eyes...like the forest._

" _You do? Oh, you do."_

"You told me your side and he told me his," she says calmly.

"And who do you believe?"

"I believe that you were a scared, 15 year-old who woke up to his uncle standing over him with an ignited lightsaber. He was a man you were supposed to trust and he let you down. Snoke had already been talking to you...telling you that Luke was frightened of your power. In your eyes, Luke's actions confirmed what Snoke had been telling you for years," she says compassionately.

"That's an understatement. Was my mother okay?...when he died." Rey's eyes soften when he mentions his mother.

"It was hard, but Leia is tough as nails. And actually…," she says cautiously. "Luke is around, I mean his force ghost is around quite often. So while he's not here in the capacity many of us would like, he's not gone completely."

"Hm, yes. It would be beneath Luke Skywalker to just stay dead like a normal person," he mutters.

"Be nice. I've asked him to stay away for now. You aren't friends, but you are able to coexist somewhat peacefully."

"I find that hard to believe," he snips. He picks at a loose seam on his sleeve and sighs. "Are there any other force ghosts hanging about that I should know about?"

"Well, now that you mention it…," Rey says slowly.

"Who?"

"Your grandfather."


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

" _Your grandfather."_

"Darth Vader," Ben gasps.

"No, Anakin Skywalker," Rey corrects.

"Explain," Ben commands through clenched teeth.

"He started coming around when Padme was a baby…"

"So, Padme was referencing him last night at the dinner table."

"Yes," Rey confirms. "When Padme was about 4 months old, I had to go on a trip with Poe and Kaydel for a few days. It was this first time I had left her for any prolonged period of time and it was this first time you had been left alone with her for more than a day. We were both a little on edge. The second night I was gone, you felt a presence in her room that you weren't familiar with and you panicked."

Of course he had panicked, he was only an infant when Snoke made himself known. He would never wish the physical, psychological, and spiritual torture he had endured under Snoke on anyone, especially his own child.

"What happened?" He asks, but he is unsure if he really wants to know the answer.

"I could show you better than I can tell you," she offers. He sighs. He's not used to relying on someone else for all the answers.

"Do I cry in this particular memory? I feel like I've relived a large amount of emotional distress in the past 24 hours," he deadpans.

Rey cracks a smile. "There is some emotional distress, but no tears." He can feel her lingering on the outskirts of his mind waiting for permission to enter.

"Fine."

This is different. He is experiencing this entirely from Rey's point of view.

 _She opens the door quietly. He can feel that she's relieved to be home. It's either very late at night or early in the morning. All the lights in the apartment are turned off. She drops her bags by the door and makes a beeline towards Padme's room. When she enters, she turns on the the small lamp in the corner and tip toes over to the crib. Her heart warms when she lays eyes on the curly haired, cherub cheeked little girl. She reaches out to play with a silky curl._

" _I know I shouldn't wake you, But...I missed you an awful lot, so I'm going to go ahead and be a little selfish," she whispers before lowering the crib rail and scooping the baby into her arms._

 _Upon the sudden change in movement, Padme stirs and begins to cry...until she sees Rey. She blinks her eyes a couple times and then gives her mother a gummy smile._

" _Hello, my little love," Rey says giving her a kiss on the nose. "Were you nice to your daddy while I was gone?"_

 _The baby babbles and coos in response._

" _Good. Someone has to give him trouble in my absence." Padme reaches out to put her fingers in Rey's mouth and Rey pretends to eat them. The child responds with delight. "How about we go find your dad, hm? I missed him a lot too." She adjusts the child in her arms and heads towards their bedroom. She's surprised the find the light is on._

" _Hey there, stranger," she says peeking her head around the door. It's strange seeing himself from her point of view._

 _He'd been expecting her. He meets her at the door, taking her face in his hands a plating a passionate kiss. "You're not allowed to leave anymore," he all but commands._

" _Padme, it looks like your dad missed me," she jokes, tickling her stomach. "How was our girl for you?"_

" _She was great. She prefers getting milk from you rather than getting bottle fed, but that's nothing new. I got her to take full feedings. It just took a little while." He seems a little distant which doesn't go unnoticed by Rey. She decides to let it slide for now._

" _That's my girl. When did she last eat?"_

" _A few hours ago, she's probably hungry again." Rey passes the baby off to Ben, so that she can change out of her traveling clothes and into something more comfortable. "How was your trip?"_

" _Boring. I missed my baby...and my husband," she says giving him another kiss and plucking her out of his arms._

" _I can safely say we missed you more,"he sighs. Rey settles on the bed and throws a light blanket over the nursing baby._

" _Not possible." Until now, Rey hadn't gotten to take a good look at her husband. He looks a little paler than usual which is really saying something. She can tell something is bothering him. He's always been uptight, but not usually with her. He's standing by the window with his arms crossed. "Ben, what's wrong?" He comes over and sits down on the bed next to her, but doesn't make eye contact with her._

" _I think that someone force sensitive has been watching our daughter," he whispers._

 _Rey's blood runs cold. "What makes you say that?"_

" _Last night, I woke up to feed her and when I went into her room I felt a force presence. It's not one that I know. It was brief, but I know it was there," he says._

 _Rey doesn't hardly knows what to say. She lays a protective hand on her daughter's back. "Was it light...dark?"_

" _I couldn't tell either way," he says laying his head in his arms. "I haven't felt it again since. I was going to sleep in the floor in her room tonight, but I think she could feel my anxiety cause she wasn't sleeping. So, I came back here and I've just been waiting. I can sense everything going on in that room."_

" _Ben, what do we do?," Rey says quietly. The horror begins to set in._

" _I don't know," he chokes. "This is all my fault. This is an unfortunate side effect of being related to me. We should have been more careful, Rey. We should never have had kids." She watches him unravel before her._

" _You don't mean that," she says and she uncovers the still nursing baby._

" _I know," he admits. He turns to lay on his side so that he's facing her and Padme. His hand joins Rey's on the baby's back. "I have done so many things that are unforgivable, but I live with them. I would never be able to live with myself if something happened to her...or you."_

" _Ben, we're just fine."_

" _For now," he says and his eyes darken. "Snoke began appearing to me before I could even talk. We can't allow her to be someone's victim. She can't repeat my mistakes."_

" _We will figure this out, Ben. I don't know how, but we will." He sits back up with his legs bent in front of him. When Padme finishes feeding, he puts his arms out and Rey passes her to him. She's got a full tummy and she's ready to go back to bed, so Ben lays her carefully on his chest. Rey lays her head on his shoulder._

" _Rey, what is our next step here?"_

" _Who do we usually call when our lives are crashing down around us?," she says looking up at him._

 _He groans. "My mother." Rey puts the baby back in her crib and Ben makes the call._

 _Leia Organa arrives within 25 minutes of their call with tea and muffins in hand. She is informally dressed and her hair has been haphazardly thrown into some sort of braid._

" _Alright, you two. It takes a lot for Ben to call his mom asking for help, so I know this must be serious," she says. "Explain."_

 _They spend a few minutes getting her up to speed. "Life can't ever be simple for a Skywalker kid," she mutters shaking her head. "Too bad this sucker doesn't know who he's dealing with. I made mistakes with Ben. I'll be damned if I let that happen again."_

" _What are we supposed to do, Leia? How do we protect her?"_

" _We need to find out who it is first. Maybe for the next few nights someone should watch over her. I'd be happy to stay a night or two over with my grandbaby. I'm force sensitive enough to recognize if someone's there. I'll talk to Luke too. Maybe I'm sure he would be happy to keep watch. "_

" _Master Luke could be able to help. Can he talk to other force ghosts? I still don't really understand how that works," Rey says._

" _Tell me, mother. Will Luke have his lightsaber on or off as he keeps watch over my daughter's bed," he snaps._

" _Ben," Leia admonishes. "We need all the support we can get here."_

 _Ben is about to argue with her, but then he stills suddenly. They all feel it at the same time and their heads turn towards the nursery. They all go running at once._

" _That's not a force signature I recognize," Ben reiterates._

 _Leia's lips formed a thin line. "I do," she grumbles._

 _Rey gets in the room first and swiftly snatches Padme from her crib. Ben runs over to stand by his wife._

 _Leia lays a hand on her son's shoulder. "Well, the good news is I know who's been hanging around."_

 _Rey and Ben follow Leia's gaze to the man standing in the corning. Rey stiffens and Ben's arm tightens around her. This man is a force ghost that much is clear. He is barely middle aged. He has dirty blond hair and eyes shaped like Ben's. Rey gasps. Ben still hasn't caught on._

 _Leia crosses her arms. "Anakin Skywalker. What the hell are you doing here?"_


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

" _Anakin Skywalker. What the hell are you doing here?"_

 _There is an uncomfortable silence. It's clear that Anakin Skywalker did not expect to be caught. Rey studies him further. His face is kind. It's hard to imagine the man standing before them committing such atrocities. Although, the same could be said for her husband. Ben. She turns toward her husband. Over the years, she's become an expert on all things Ben Solo. She's often able to predict how he's going to react to certain circumstances. This however, this she was not prepared for. His face is unreadable._

" _Ben," she says calmly, laying her free hand on his shoulder. He turns turns to look at her. Now this is a facial expression she knows. His face is flushed red and his nostrils are flaring. He's pissed._

" _Rey, give me the baby," his voice is eerily calm. She hesitates just for a moment. "Rey, please. She grounds me. I'm trying to calm down," he says through his teeth. She passes the baby to him and he slides down to sit on the floor. His long legs are bent in front of him and Padme rests in his lap. Rey joins Ben on the floor. She keeps on hand on his arm and the other snakes up to massage his neck._

 _Rey isn't sure what to do. "Do you want me to leave?"_

" _Why would I want you to leave" A genuine look of confusion crosses his face._

" _I didn't know if you wanted some time to talk to your family," she says softly._

" _What? No. You are my family. This involves you as much as it does me. I need you. " His head turns towards his grandfather. "Explain. Now."_

" _I didn't think anyone would notice I was here," the force ghost admits._

 _Leia snorts. "That much is clear," she snaps. She settles herself into the armchair in the corner. She's cleary ready for a long conversation._

" _Why are you here?" Ben yells this time. Padme gets startled and starts to cry. Ben's eyes soften as he pulls her to his chest. "I'm sorry." he mutters, pressing a kiss to her temple._

" _I was just keeping an eye on her. Nothing more than that. I'm sorry to have worried you," Anakin Skywalker says warily. Rey can hear the sincerity in his voice._

" _You've overstepped," Leia says sharply._

" _Why now?" Ben says refusing to make eye contact with anyone except his daughter._

" _I thought you..." he starts._

" _No. You don't know me," he says. "You could have though. I used to ask about you all of the time when I was young. You could have shown up then." He let's Padme grab one of his fingers with her chubby little hand. "By age 12, Snoke had me convinced that Darth Vader was talking to me...giving me advice. That would have been an ideal time for you to make an appearance. So again, why now? I needed you then; I don't need you now."_

" _I wasn't around when you were younger, because I didn't think that's what was best for you." Rey knows immediately that's one of the worst answers he could have given and she squeezes Ben's shoulder reassuringly._

" _Who are you to decide what's best for me?"_

" _I also did it for your mother," he says quietly. Ben looks up at his mother whose eyes have widened slightly. "Ben, I will never be able to forgive myself for the things I've done, especially to your mother and uncle. First, I robbed them of a life with their biological mother. She would have been the greatest mother. I also killed the people who stepped in to take our place. The Organas and the Lars family...who loved my children and took them in despite the risk to them. I held your mother back while she watched her home planet be destroyed. Both my children suffered physical harm by my hand."_

 _He pauses for a brief second. Rey watches as Leia's eye start to well up. She nods at Anakin to continue._

" _Luke is very forgiving...maybe even to a fault. He was there with me at the end. He helped facilitate my return to the light. I was able to die saving my son's life, but I did not have the chance to do anything redeemable for the sake of my daughter. And now, in this life, there is very little I could give to her...except my absence." Anakin looks pointedly at his daughter. Leia refuses to let her tears fall._

" _I know that you stayed connected Luke. I never asked you to stay away," she defends._

" _Leia, you didn't have to." There is a pregnant pause as father and daughter share a moment. Leia nods, but says nothing more as she walks out of the room. Anakin turns back to where Ben and Rey sit. "I didn't want to destroy this new family your mother created for herself. It seems I helped do that anyway," he sighs. "I talked to Luke the day you were born, Ben. After your mother and father had fallen asleep, I checked on you. Just once. Just to see my first grandchild. My son gave my updates on you after that. He talked some about your struggle with the force, but it seemed like you had it under control. I tried to appear to you when things started getting out of hand, but it wasn…"_

" _It wasn't Anakin Skywalker I was looking for," Ben says softly. Rey lets her head fall to his shoulder._

" _Right. Snoke had you so engrossed in being Darth Vader's heir that I was unable to get through," he says bitterly. Rey can see some of the same fire in Anakin that she sees in Ben. "After Luke's temple was destroyed, I went to your mother to see if there was anything I could do. Luke had cut himself off from the force. I couldn't contact you. She wasn't happy to see me...rightfully so. That conversation was short lived. I've always wondered if I would have sensed Snoke's presence in your mind. If I could have helped you had I been around."_

 _Ben stays silent._

" _So, you're here to look out for her," Rey says, taking the baby from Ben's arms._

 _Anakin nods. "That's all. I felt a shift in the force when she was born. I didn't know what it was. When I first saw her, there wasn't any doubt about who she belonged to. I've just been checking in on her from time to time. Monitoring her dreams for anything less than happy ones. I wasn't planning on making myself known unless I sensed that something was wrong."_

" _And you haven't found anything," Ben states, but it comes off as more of a question._

" _No, Ben. Your daughter is so loved. She dreams of you and her mother most often. You have nothing to be worried about."_

" _Fine. Good." Ben says and he turns to storm out, but stops in the doorway. "You can tell her about my grandmother."_

" _What?," Anakin asks._

" _My mother. Instead of your absence, give her stories about HER mother," he says sharply and walks out leaving just Rey, Anakin, and the baby._

" _You should have asked," Rey states. "I embrace your redemption as I've embraced Ben's. However, you should have come and asked us before you appointed yourself our daughter's guardian angel."_

" _That's fair. I apologize for the distress I've caused the both of you. I didn't mean to frighten you."_

" _I know," Rey says understandingly. "I do appreciate the sentiment. I think Leia does as well. Ben will too...in time."_

" _I suppose I owe you some thanks...for saving my grandson."_

 _The corners of Rey's mouth turn up, but she shakes her head. "We saved each other."_

" _You remind me of his grandmother. You're loyal and headstrong and kind. You've got spunk. If you are anything like she was then you are more than he deserves."_

" _That's true, but I think I'll keep him around," Rey jokes. "This conversation isn't over between you two. I would come back another time...when he's calmed down some. There's no need to babysit anymore tonight. We're going to keep Padme in our room the rest of the night."_

 _Anakin's eyes widen. "Padme?"_

" _Padme?," Rey replies pointing to the baby in her arms._

" _I didn't know that was her name," he says dazed. "Thank you, Rey." And with that, he disappears._


	15. Chapter 15

_**CHAPTER 15**_

" _I didn't know that was her name," he says dazed. "Thank you, Rey." And with that, he disappears._

Once he's pulled from the memory, Ben sits in silence. The last fifteen plus years of his life had been devoted to living up to Darth Vader's legacy. That's what Ben thought his grandfather had wanted. That's what the voice in his head had told him. He feels foolish when he thinks about the way he used to pray before that melted helmet every night. How he had gotten his own mask to pay homage to Darth Vader…

 _You're just a child in a mask._

He feels the heat rising to his cheeks. What a fool he had been. He thought he had the approval of the great Darth Vader...approval he never got from Leia Organa or Han Solo. Snoke had played him for years.

He flings his arm out to hit something when a hand wraps around his wrist. Rey.

"Ben…," she says softly. He turns to look at her and sees her eying him warily.

"Sorry," he mutters, lowering his arm. "So...we talked later...Anakin Skywalker and I. We talked."

"You had quite a few talks with him. You and Leia both did. The first few involved a lot of screaming, but eventually things calmed down." Rey wraps her fingers in his. "You and you mom got to learn a lot about your family history. Your mother got to her how her parents fell in love. His presences in our lives has been a good healing opportunity for you both."

"Is he around often?"

"Fairly often, yeah. Our Padme is that man's pride and joy. He loves her to pieces," Rey's turns to check on her daughter. "We decided that it would be okay for him to be a part of her life. He keeps an eye out for her. We weren't sure how it was going to go at first, but it's turned out to be a great comfort for us both."

Before Ben can respond, the door to the deck slams shut.

"Mommy, I'm done," Padme's voice sings. "I was good. I'm ready to use a real lightsaber now." She stands in front of her mom when pleading eyes.

Rey chuckles. "How old did mommy and daddy tell you you have to be to use a real one?"

"Four," Padme says quickly. Rey's eyebrows raise. "Eight," she finally grumbles. "That's far."

"Come here, my little love," Rey says holding out her arms. Padme scrambles onto the couch between Ben and Rey and wraps her arms around her mother's neck. "Guess who's awake?," she whispers into the child's ear.

Padme's face lights up. "Baby?!" Rey nods. Padme slips off her mother's lap and lays herself down on the couch so that her head is right next to Rey's abdomen. Rey grabs the child's hand and guides it to a specific spot on her stomach. The child breaks out into a giggle and yanks her hand back. "It kicked me." She scoots even closer to her mother. "HELLO, BABY," she yells and Rey is doing her best not to laugh. "I'M PADME. I'M FOUR."

"Hey," Rey interrupts her. "Remember. The baby can hear you. You don't have to yell."

"Oh yeah," Padme nods. "I forgot. I'll start over," she say moving back into position. "Hello, baby. My name is Padme... I'm four. You gonna be my best friend. I'm going to teach you how to find treasure and play games. Uhhh...oh yeah...and I love you," she says and kisses Rey's stomach.

"She does this every morning," Rey says looking over at Ben.

"Daddy, did you say "hi" to the baby?," Padme asks.

"Umm. No. I haven't yet," Ben says. This answer is clearly not the one the four year old was wanting.

"Here," Padme says, grabbing Ben's hand and putting it on Rey's stomach. He finds himself laying across the couch as his daughter was just moments before. Rey's reaches down to reposition his hand. It isn't long before he feels a soft thump hit his hand and he can't help but gasp.

"Don't forget to say hi," Padme reminds him.

"Hi, baby," he says quietly and he tooks up at Rey who gives him a soft, encouraging smile. He doesn't pull his hand away and finds himself waiting impatiently feel another sign of life. Suddenly, he feels himself remember the first time he was every in this position...

 _Ben walks into the Falcon's small kitchen to find Rey with her elbows resting on one of the counters. Her head is in her hands. "Rey, what is it?" He asks quickly, rushing to her. He can hear her soft sniffles. She's been crying. Crying hasn't been usual for either of them lately. "Rey…," he says again, wrapping his arms around her from behind. He buries his face in her neck. "What is it?" She doesn't respond, but her cries seem to quiet just a little. "Rey…love, please."_

 _Her hand shakes as she reaches to grab his own. He thinks that she's just holding it for support, but then she brings it to rest on the swell of her stomach. He feels it almost instantly. A kick._

" _Oh. That's new," he says quietly. He frees both of his hands, so that he can rub Rey's lower back._

" _I'm scared, Ben," she says. Her voice is hoarse from crying. "I'm scared and I hate this. I'm exhausted all the time. We've been trying to ignore this, but…," Rey's voice breaks. "It's moved, Ben. It's hard to ignore the reality of this when I can feel it moving inside me."_

" _I know. I'm scared too," Ben replies. He spins Rey around so that she is facing him and he lets her fall apart in his arms. He holds her close and buries his face into her hair._

"It's so different for us this time around," Rey says, breaking him from his thoughts. Her hand has found a way into his hair and she gently massages his scalp.

Ben doesn't say anything. He allows his head to rest in Reys lap, but his hand never leaves it's position on her stomach. Padme has tucked herself into Rey's otherside and dozed off. He lets Rey's gentle hands lull him into a light sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

Ben's the first one to wake up for their nap. His head is still rested in Rey's lap and her hand is tangled in his hair. Padme is tucked into her mother's side, holding a stuffed porg close to her chest. He sits up carefully, but ends up waking up Rey in the process.

"Good nap?" she asks with a smile.

He nods and stretches his neck.

"What's are your mind, Ben?," she gently probs.

"Couldn't you just take that from my mind?"

"I could, but I'd rather you just tell me." She stands up, gently repositioning the sleeping child. Then, she crosses into the kitchen to grab some kind of fruit from the refrigerator. She bites into it and just stands there, waiting for him to speak. He sighs and walks over the sit at the kitchen table.

"I'm just frustrated," he says shortly.

"Use your words, Ben."

"I gave the First Order everything I had." _I killed Han Solo. When the moment came, I didn't hesitate_. "The memories I'm getting back are all recent. I don't understand how I became the supreme leader and then transitioned to...whatever this is. I mean...this is nice, but not ever in the plans that I had for myself."

"What did the First Order give you, Ben?"

He opened his mouth to respond, only to find that he didn't know how to. He ponders this for a moment.

"Power," he finally decides.

"You're powerful in your own right. You didn't need the First Order for that. Snoke didn't give you your power. You've always had that inside you," she says taking another bite.

"Purpose, then."

"Alright," she says wiping her mouth and coming to join him at the table. "I want you to think about all that you did for the order. All the orders you carried out. All the injuries you sustained when things weren't done to Snoke's liking. All the sacrifices you made. Do you think that the First Order gave you as much as you gave them."

"The supre...no" he says with a sigh.

"You were a terrible Supreme Leader," she says bluntly. "Not just morally, but like you had no real talent for running a galactic dictatorship. Your leadership talents are found more in combat, leading squadrons or planning attacks. You had no love for politics or budgets or intergalactic relations. You'd admit to that." He can't disagree with her.

"Hux was mad."

"Hux was pissed," she corrects. "So, he planned to have the Finalizer blown up while you were on it."

"And he got all the Knights in on it? Except Ataro," he says. "I should have killed him when I had the chance.

"He had the knights and a couple squad of stormtroopers in on it. You were on your way to one of the core worlds with a relatively small security detail. The stormtroopers...they knew they were going to die on this mission. Hux told them it was necessary for the betterment of the order," she says bitterly. "Ataro was the last to be informed. Only a couple hours before it was scheduled to happen. She went to evacuate you. Unfortunately, one of the knights had anticipated her plan and alerted the personnel on the finalizer."

Bens face morphs into a sneer, but he doesn't say anything.

"Ataro's smart though. The first thing she did when she got you was disable to communications lines. You had to fight your way out. You were both pretty beat up. But, no one knew that you had escaped before Hux had it blown to bits, because all of the lines were down. For most of the world, Kylo Ren had died. Hux assumed he was successful."

"Most of the world, not including you," he guesses. She smiles.

"I was with your mother when it was announced that Kylo Ren had been killed in an attack by an 'unknown enemy.'. She was devastated, Ben. More So than she had been with your father or with Luke. She didn't even try reaching out for your force signature," she explains. "But, I wasn't convinced.. I would have felt something in the force had you died."

"Ataro got you on an escape pod. She was able to get out as well. You appeared to me only hours asking for my help...sort of. So, I picked you up and brought you home."

"Show me. Please," he begs.

"Okay"

 _Rey doesn't waste any time. She abandons her night clothes and scrambles to locate the leggings and tunic she had worn earlier. She finds them in a crumbled pile on the bathroom floor. She throws the clothes on, grabs her saber off her night stand, and breaks out into a full sprint across the base. She doesn't even bother to knock before letting herself into Leia's apartment._

" _General!"_

" _Rey? What in the world?" The general sit up in bed and aggressively rubs the sleep from her eyes. "Is everything all right? What time is it?"_

" _It's early..like 2AM or something. General, I know that I haven't been very forthcoming over the past few months and you haven't known me for very long, but I have been loyal and dedicated to the resistance," she Rey hurriedly, struggling to catch her breath._

" _Rey, what is this about?," the general asks._

" _I think the tides of this war are changing. We both know the destruction of the star destroyer wasn't the resistances doing. Leia...the First Order is imploding. I have what we need to end this, but I need you to trust me," Rey says sternly._

 _Leia gets out of bed and pulls a robe on over her nightdress. "Well, do continue," she says with a wave of her hand._

" _I know of a defector of the First Order. I'd like to bring them here," she states. Leia looks like she is getting ready to argue. "Before you say anything...this could be our last chance...our only chance. The force is telling me that we need to do this."_

 _Leia sighs. "What's your source?"_

 _Rey winces. "I can't tell you that right now, but I trust it."_

 _Leia's eyes narrowing. "So what are you supposing we do? As much as we need more information, there are so few of us left. I'm not sure we are in a place to be risky right now. We can't just be sending out our coordinates to any storm trooper who decides he wants to join the resistance. It puts us all at risk."_

" _My contact is a little higher up on the chain of command than a stormtrooper," she responds._

" _That makes me more apprehensive. It could be a trap,"_

" _It's not. Please, General," Rey pleases. "I'll go alone. I'll meet them at a neutral location. I'll make sure they don't have any tracking devices on them and I'll bring them back."_

" _Rey, you're a wanted woman. Your face is plastered on posters all over the galaxy. This could be a trap to collect the bounty on the woman who murdered Snoke," Leia's voice starts to become angry and Rey fights a grimace. She hadn't told anyone what exactly went down on the Supremacy. "Over the last several months, my husband has died, my brother has died, and my son has died. You are the closest thing I've ever had to a daughter. You're not dying."_

 _Rey's eyes soften and the grabs Leia's hands in her own. "I'm not dying. I'm a survivor. I've always been. I wouldn't be going if I didn't think this was worth it."_

" _I can't let..," Leia starts, but Rey cuts her off._

" _Alright, I'm going to be honest. I'm going to go whether or not I have your permission. I would like your permission though..and I'd rather not be shot out of the sky when I return."_

 _Leia's sighs heavily and the corners of her mouth turn up into a smirk. "It's no wonder Han liked you. What do I need to have ready upon your arrival?" Rey jumps to her feet and gives Leia a kiss on the check._

" _I think two armed guards should be fine...just in case. Don't wake anyone else up. I feel like large crowds might overwhelm him. Prepare the interrogation room. That should be good...I think. I'll be back in 2 standard hours tops."_

" _Are you taking the Falcon?"_

" _No. Not the Falcon," Rey responds hastily. "I mean...I think one of the transport shuttles should be fine. They are more discrete."_

" _Are you sure you don't need someone with you?"_

" _Positive. I'm very self sufficient," Rey says jogging towards the door._

" _I know you are," Leia smiles. "Rey?"_

" _Yes, General?"_

" _May the force be with you."_

" _It is."_

 _The halls are eerily quiet and she makes her way towards the hanger. She skids to a stop when she comes across the supply closet. She grabs a set of clean robes and a pair of restraining cuffs and sets back out on her course._

 _She settles into the first shuttle that she comes across and plugs in the coordinates for the previously agreed upon meeting place. Rey sits there for a moment, eyes closed, and contemplates what she is about to do. "Alright, Ben Solo. I'm coming."_

 _The trip doesn't take nearly as long as she thought it would. As she nears the planet's surface, she can see the black escape pod tucked in between some trees. She lands a couple meters away. She doesn't get out right away. This is what she had set out to do all those months ago. After Crait, she wasn't sure she would ever get there, but alas here she was. She could sense him and she knows that he sense her presence in return. She lowers the hatch on the shuttle, unclipping her lightsaber from her belt and tosses it on the seat before she exits. Don't make me regret doing that._

 _She takes a moment to survey her surrounds. This planet is green and warm, but not as beautiful as Ahch-To or Takodona. However, Rey finds that any climate is preferable to Hoth, were they've holed up in the old Rebel base. Rey is barely getting used to the chill of space, so the ice planet was a very rude awakening._

 _She jogs toward the poorly landed escape pod. When she gets there, it's empty. Kriff. Before she makes an attempt to open up their bond, she hears a cough. Her head snaps towards the sound and she can see a set of feet peeking out from behind a log. "Ben," she yells._

 _She finds him sitting on the ground, propped up against a tree. He looks even worse than he did when they connected only 1 standard hour prior. His face is caked in a mix of blood and ash. The blood seems to be originating from a laceration on his head, but Rey suspects that not all of it is his own. His clothes are singed and, in some places, barely holding on. His hands are covered in seemingly minor cuts and burns. His face is more gaunt that it was before. He hasn't been eating well, or sleeping well for the that matter. He had told her that._

 _She squats down in front of him, resting on her haunches. His eyes flicker up to meet her own, the eyes that she has come to know so well. She doesn't say anything, and neither does he. He bites the inside of his cheek and Rey can tell that he's struggling to keep his breath sounds quiet and controlled. Finally, Rey offers him her hand, just as he had done all those months ago in the throne room. She hears his breath hitch, but he makes no move to take it. Was this how he felt? She wants to beg, but she's not going to. He has to do this himself. She waits, with her arm outstretched._

 _Soon her confidence begins to waiver, just slightly, and she closes her eyes just for a moment to recenter herself. That's when she feels something fall into her hand, but it wasn't at all what she was expecting. There, in her hand, is Kylo Ren's lightsaber. This is his peace offering. She turns it over. For some reason, it feels so much heavier than the last time she had wielded it. They meet eyes again, there is something challenging about the look he gives her._

" _Feel free to use it," he says weakly. He tries to sound confident, but the quake of his voice gives him away._

 _Rey is confused at first. Use it? That's when she realizes what he means...to use it on him. He wants to die._

" _Do you want me to?," she asks._

" _Kind of," his coughs. "Someone is going to do it. I'd rather it be you." Rey stands up quickly and shakes her head._

" _I meant it," she says. "In the elevator, I told you I would help you turn. I meant it, Ben." She fastens his lightsaber to her belt and once again hold her hand out to him. His lip trembles and he reaches out to engulf her hand in his own. Rey braces her stance, so that she can help him to his feet. Once he seems to have caught his balance, she releases him and nods her head towards the direction of her shuttle._

 _He follows behind her swiftly. For as bad as he looks, he seems to be getting around okay. Rey leads him into the cockpit where she gathers both her saber and his. She then tosses then into one of the storage compartments. She then plops herself in the pilot seat, plugs in the coordinates to Hoth, and then sets it for autopilot._

 _He stands there, looking around the ship. "I figured you would have brought the Falcon."_

" _I didn't want to bring you back to the Resistance in your father's old ship. I didn't want to do that to you.'_

 _He nods silently and Rey catches him rubbing a tear off his face._

" _Ben, can I ask you something?" He doesn't say anything, so Rey takes that as an okay. "I've meant to ask you this before...when the force has brought us together. Did you know that I was on the Falcon?" His brow furrows. "On Crait," she clarifies. "Almost all of the ships began firing on the Falcon, I'm assuming on your orders. Did you know I was gunning?...It doesn't change anything. I was just wondering."_

 _In that moment, something inside of Ben breaks and his face crumbles. He had no idea. His tremors worsen and Rey isn't sure if he's going to cry or break something...hopefully neither. "Come on," she says softly and guides him towards the fresher in the back of the spacecraft. She turns it on and grabs a towel for him._

 _She's about to leave him to clean up, but his hands a shaking so badly that he's having a hard time getting his on shirt off. He is some sort of shock. Rey sighs. "Come here." She begins helping him remove the black, long sleeved undershirt. It wasn't until he starts wincing that she realizes that the shirt is stuck to an open wound on his back. "Kriff." She moves them, so they are both standing under the shower of water. The warm water helps to free his shirt from the wound. He hisses and she slowly peels the shirt from his skin. "I'm sorry," she says. He braces himself against the fresher wall. She grabs the washcloth off the floor and presses it to the wound, causing all of the muscles in his back to tense. She had seen him shirtless before, but never this close. She studies his back. Scars of various shapes, sizes, and maturity cover his back. "Oh, Ben." He doesn't say anything. She puts her hands on his shoulder, turning him around to face her and she leans out of the fresher to grab a fresh washcloth. She brings it up to his face and he flinches away from her, the first change in facial expression she's seen from him in almost ten minutes._

 _If you had asked Rey how she thought this rescue mission was going to go, helping a shirtless, shocked Ben Solo shower was never part of it. "You're fine," she says. He relaxes slightly and lets her clean the blood and dirt from his face. Together, they pick through his hair, detangling some of the matted sections. Rey was right. There was a small laceration on the left side of his head, but nothing major. She makes him stand there until the water runs down the drain is clear._

" _Here's a towel and a change of clothes. Finish cleaning up and then meet be back in the cockpit," she states, stacking the items on the sink. She turns to leave, but he grabs her wrist._

" _Thank you," he says, and to her surprise, his cheeks are bright red._

" _You're welcome."_

 _He sniffles. "I didn't know. You have to know that I had no idea you were on the Falcon."_

" _I know." Rey closes the door softly behind her._

 _Rey manages to find a dry pair of leggings and a tunic in one of the storage compartments. They are a little big and there are a few holes here and there, but anything is preferable to sopping wet clothes. She would have frozen to death once they landed on base. Ben eventually finds his way back into the cockpit. He slips into the co-pilot seat._

" _What comes next?" he asks with much more strength in his voice than before._

" _We will be arriving at the base shortly. The majority of the base does not know this is happening. I requested two guards and the general be present, but that's it. Most people don't even know what you look like. Poe and Finn probably…Not sure about Rose or Kaydel"_

" _Kaydel Ko could probably put two and two together. " Rey looks at Ben curiously. He shrugs. "We grew up together. Our parents were both involved in the senate. We went to primary school together."_

" _I don't know her very well, but she seems nice," Rey muses._

" _When we were seven, she got everyone in my class to call me "Big-eared Ben," he says flatly._

 _Rey fights back a snort. "Okay, so maybe not as nice as I thought?"_

" _Maybe not, but at least she talked to me. Most didn't." There was nothing sad about his tone. He was merely stating a face, but it helps solidify something Rey already kind of knew; Ben Solo's childhood was as lonely as hers was. They sit quietly until the planet slowly comes into view and then, he speaks again. "Am I getting thrown in a cell first or is extraction of information first on the agenda?"_

" _Between you and me, we don't have any cells on base so we are going to have to play that one by ear. Not sure about the order of events. That will be up to the general, I guess."_

" _Who is?"_

" _What?" Rey asks confused._

" _Who's the new general? I'd like to know who's going to have my life in their hands," he says bitterly. That's when Rey realizes that he is under the impression his mother is dead. She recalls the numerous conversations they've had over the last few months. Leia had never really come up._

" _Your mother is alive, Ben."_

" _Don't lie to me. I've never lied to you," he barks, causing Rey to jump._

" _I'm not lying. Why would I lie about that?"_

" _I saw it happen. I was there when the bridge was destroyed," he says. "I felt it." His voices trails off._

 _Rey opens the line of communication._

" _Name."_

" _Maxine, this is Rey. Can you put me on the line with General Organa please?" Ben's eyes are wide as saucers. There is static and the line reopens._

" _Rey?," Leia asked frantically. Ben sucks in a quick breath and his eyes fills with tears. She reaches out to rest her hand on his shoulder, but he shakes her away, resting his head in his hands. "Rey!," Leia repeats._

" _Yes," Rey says, clearing her throat, "Sorry. I'm back. Please lower the shields. I'm not alone. The defector will be cuffed and compliant."_

" _You weren't harmed?"_

" _No, General. I'm fine."_

" _Okay, Rey. See you soon," the general sighs._

" _Does she know? About our connection…does she know it's me?" Ben croaks._

" _She has no idea," Rey confesses. "I haven't told anyone about the bond. Plus, she thinks you died in the Finalizer explosion."_

" _And you didn't tell her I was alive or that I was coming?," he questions._

" _You have to understand. I believe in you, but your mother has been through so much...I didn't want to get her hopes up incase things didn't go the way I imagined. I didn't want to put her through that."_

 _He nods. "And the bond?," he asks wiping his eyes with his sleeves._

" _No, that's just between you and me."_

" _Rey, I can't face her," he says quietly. Rey doesn't say anything, mostly because she doesn't know what she can say to make him feel better. The few minutes before landing are quiet and tense. Rey isn't sure who is more tense, her or him. She's starting to think she should have given Leia a heads up. She makes a smooth landing into the closest hanger. Neither passenger is anxious to exit, but gets up and grabs her things._

" _It's time," she says quietly. He nods and meets her near the door. She pulls out a pair of restraints. He gives a huff of annoyance. "The more compliant you are the easier this well be, Ben." He holds out his wrists and Rey snaps the cuffs on. They stand before the exit ramp, side by side. "Are you ready?"_

" _No." She can feel his uncertainty, but she can no longer see it. He stands tall and proud and his face is masked with indifference. Although restrained, his stance comes off as threatening._

" _Great," Rey mutters. She opens the hatch, places her hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze, and guides him down the ramp. '_

 _The general waits in the hanger, flanked by two armed guards. Rey recognizes them as two of the older members of the resistance. Very loyal and not ones for gossip. Good. Leia stands with her arms crossed. The closer they get, the more Rey feels like she could vomit. Rey stops at the bottom of the ramp, her hand leaving Ben's shoulder. He takes his typically military stance, legs firmly planted, back straight, hands clasped behind back. Leia approaches._

" _Rey," she says, pulling her into a hug. Rey relishes this embrace, because she's unsure if the general will ever want to hug her again once she realises what she's done. "I'm so glad you are safe." She left hand cups Rey's face. Then, she turns to Ben._

" _Welcome to the resist…," the general gasps, stopping midsentence and she steps back. Her eyes roam every inch of his face. Her eyes fill with tears. "Ben?," she asks. Her hand goes to his face, brushing his curly hair behind his right ear._

 _His eyes dart to meet hers. His expression remains unreadable._

" _Rey?," she asks weakly. Rey nods, answering the generals unasked question. "Rey, put him in the interrogation room and meet me in my office. Now."_


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

 _Rey, put him in the interrogation room and meet me in my office. Now."_

Before Rey has the chance to respond, Leia has turned on her heels and marched away, gesturing for the two guards to stay behind with Rey and Ben. Rey isn't sure if that went better or worse than she expected.

"It was definitely better than I expected," Ben mutters. Rey turns to him with an eyebrow raised. "You were projecting." He shrugs.

"Alright," she says, suddenly aware of how exhausted she is. "Let's go." Her hand resumes it's previous position on Ben's shoulder and she guides him through the dimly lit corridors, the guards falling in step behind. Ben's eyes dart around, watching for any more resistance members wandering about. "Sleeping quarters are on the other side of the base. No one will be over here." He nods.

Rey stops in front of a large steel door, swiftly enters a code into the keypad, and pushes him through the entry way. She motions for the guards to stay outside and she is pleasantly surprised when they follow her orders. Besides a table and several chairs, the room is empty. Rey's hand breaks contact with his shoulder and she pulls out one of the cold, metal chairs, gesturing for him to sit. He obliges.

"I'm going to adjust the cuffs," she says fumbling with her ring of keys. "Would you rather I attach them to the chair or the table?"

"Seriously?," he says incredulously. "You think these cuffs would keep me from breaking out of here?"

"Of course not," she spits. "But I have to look like I at least tried. So, Ben. I'm asking again. Chair or table?"

"Table. So you are just going to leave me in here, so you can have a heart to heart with Leia Organa? With nothing, but a couple of armed guards standing outside?" He tries to catch her eye as she locks his cuffs into the table. "It's almost like you're inviting me to leave."

"You came willingly. I am about to go get my ass chewed out by your mother, because I brought you here. Please don't further jeopardize my relationship with my resistance family by trying anything stupid." she pleads, kneeling by his chair. "This is your first test, Ben. Please don't let me down." Rey's demeanor has changed significantly since they've arrived on the base. She's on edge and her force presence is bubbling with nervous energy.

"Fine," he sighs and Rey can tell he's being honest. She nods in appreciation, but her face remains stoic.

"I'll be back shortly." She pulls herself from the floor, wiping her hands on her ill fitting tunic.

"Your prisoner will be waiting."

"Oh, Ben. You're not my prisoner," she smirks. "You're my guest." The door slams.

Rey slams the door which seems to startle the two men outside.

"Are you okay, Miss?," one of the asks

"I'm fine. Thank you," she says, rubbing the back of her neck. "Do you know who that is?"

"Yes, miss," both men answer.

The older of the two elaborates. "I've served the Leia and the Organa family for many years. We are among a handful of survivors from Alderaan. I watched that boy grow up. He's safe with us miss. If anyone asks, we have no idea who it is." The other guard nods in agreement.

"Thank you both," Rey says. "If he so much as makes a sound, com me and I will be here as fast as I can."

Rey stands in front of Leia's office for a long time, but she can't get herself to open the door. She pulls at the loose strings on her tunic sleeve and counts the number of lights down the hallway.

"Rey get in here," Leia orders, swinging the door open.

"Yes, general." She doesn't say anything more as she steps into the general's office. Leia points to the armchair in the corner and Rey takes that as her cue to sit down. Leia pulls two glasses and a dark bottle out of her desk drawer. She pours some of the unfamiliar liquid into both glasses and thrusts one into Rey's hands. She takes a quick sip and coughs when the liquid burns her throat.

"Corellian Whiskey," Leia states, taking the chair across from Rey. She doesn't waste any time. "I thought he was dead," she says, twirling her glass.

"No, ma'am. Everyone in the First Order believes he is though. General Hux...planned to kill him so that he could assume the position of Supreme Leader. He's moderately wounded, but okay," Rey says quietly.

"I don't understand, Rey. I have so many questions."

"Would you like me to start with how I knew he was alive?" Rey knows that offering up information willingly is the best course of action.

"Perhaps that would be best."

Rey takes another sips of the offending drink and wipes her mouth with her sleeve.

"Right after Starkiller, we realized that we share a force bound. We started appearing before each other for no apparent reason." Leia's eyes widen, but she doesn't attempt to interject. "We could only see each other at first, and then we realized that we could physically interact through the bond. I had a hard time on Ahch-To, I felt terribly alone and afraid and vulnerable. He comforted me. He understood. Our hands touched, and Leia… I saw his future...here with the Resistance...I was so sure that he could be swayed."

"And you shipped yourself to the Supremacy," Leia filled in. They'd never actually discussed how Rey had ended up there. Rey nods, biting her lip. "You foolish girl."

"It was foolish," Rey agrees and tears spring to her eyes. "He took me before Snoke who tortured me for information on Luke's location. Then, once he had what he needed, he ordered Ben to kill me."

"How were you able to kill Snoke with Ben and the guards there?" Leia asks.

"I didn't," Rey confesses. "Leia, I wasn't the one who killed him."

The general's hand goes up to her mouth. "Ben…"

"I didn't tell you before, because I didn't want to give you hope for someone I wasn't sure was still there." The general brow furrows. "He killed Snoke to save me, we fought off the Praetorian guards together….I thought surely that had meant he had returned to the light. But...You and I were both on Crait. We could see that wasn't the case. He wanted me to rule with him, eliminating the First Order and the Resistance in the process. We both got knocked out when Holdo crashed the cruiser. I woke up first…," Rey continues, letting her tears fall. "I had the opportunity to kill him while he was unconscious, but I just couldn't…"

"Oh my sweet girl," the general says softly. She gets up from her chair and takes Rey into her arms.

"I thought our bond might end after all that, but it didn't. It actually only became more frequent. He was so mad at me. I think he still is a little. After a while, we settled into a respectful tolerance of sorts. We talk...if only because it's hard to ignore each other when you are occupying the same space."

"Rey, I have to ask. Did you share any classified Resistance information with Ben, accidentally or otherwise." Rey's face fills with horror.

"General, I would never. This is the first family I've ever had. I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize our mission. If I felt the bond put you all at risk, I would have left. I swear it," she pleads, grasping on the general's vest. "I didn't tell anyone about the bond cause I was afraid that I would be forced to leave. Please don't make me leave." Despite her warm welcome into the Resistance, Rey continues to struggle with her fear of abandonment. She knows she can survive on her own, but the happiness she found being part of a community can never be replaced.

"Of course I'm not going to make you leave, you brilliant girl," Leia soothes, rubbing Rey's back. "What a burden you've carried alone."

"The more the bond connects us, the more I believe that Ben Solo is still there. The call to the light is still strong in him. He contacted me for help after the attack on the Finalizer. He came with me willingly. He can help us end the First Order once and for all."

"I hope you're right, Rey. As your general, I'm furious with you for keeping this from me. As his mother, I am forever in your debt," Leia says softly, kissing the top of Rey's head.


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

"As his mother, I am forever in your debt."

Rey's hands shake as she fumbles through her dresser looking for something cleaner and warmer to wear than the old tunic she had found. Leia gave her a few moments to collect herself before she was needed back in the interrogation room. They had talked about the bond for awhile. Rey hadn't realized how heavy the secret had been weighing on her. Leia had been so kind and understanding. The general was going to go ahead and speak to her son. Alone. Rey can't imagine that will go well.

She slips on a pair on fitted white snow pants, with a long sleeved grey shirt, and grey vest. Damn this planet. Rey didn't think if way possible to miss the arid Jakku climate, but then again, she also didn't think it was possible to be this cold. She sifts through her canvas bag to retrieve her lightsaber and fastens it to her belt. She grabs Ben's too and turns it over in her hands, really getting a good look at it for the first time. The weapon is powerful, there is no doubt about that, but not exactly expertly crafted. There are many exposed wires...those probably contribute to the instability of the weapon. He probably did that on purpose. She tosses the saber into her nightstand drawer and locks it.

Next on Rey's agenda, food. She uses the universal key she'd copied from Leia to sneak her way into the mess hall. She'd have to stick to prepackaged food seeing as it's still hours before anyone else, including the cooks, will be up. She grabs herself some a water, a protein bar, and some sort of fruit. As she's walking out, she remembers how thin Ben looked...how prominent his cheek bones had been. She circles back to grab a few more things to share.

Across the base, Leia Organa has a moment alone with her son for the first time in more than 15 years. When she steps into the room, he's waiting with his arms crossed in front of him. He doesn't look at her until she's right next to him. His beautiful brown eyes are bloodshot. Leia wonders if this is from cry or rubbing his eyes. He used to do that all the time as a child...when he would get tired or frustrated, he would rub his eyes until they turned red.

It warms her heart to see he still keeps his hair long.

" _Momma, can I let my hair get long like yours?," he had asked her one night when he was not but five or six._

" _If that's what you want, but I think you look very handsome with your new haircut," she says wrapping her arms around the small boy._

" _It doesn't cover my ears," he says burying his head in Leia's sweater._

" _I'm a big fan of those ears," she says, sitting him up and peppering his face with kisses. The room fills with the boys giggles and he tries to wiggle his way out of her arms._

" _But, Momma...They're so big," he laughs._

" _One day, you're going to grow up big and strong, and those ears will be the perfect size."_

She can't stop herself from reaching out to tuck a curl behind his ear. The touch startles him, but Leia doesn't pull her hand away.

"You're so handsome. I told you you would grow into those," she says with a sad smile. Leia has a hard time reading the emotion displayed in those large, expressive eyes. She doesn't know this boy...this man. "Just for a moment, you're going to let me be your mother. You owe me that."

"Okay," he says. His voice is so much deeper and richer than she expected. Before she can talk herself out of it, she pulls him into a hug. His whole posture stiffness under her embrace, but she doesn't care. This is her only child...the only living member of her immediate family. And, in this moment, she is not Leia Organa, leader of the Resistance. She is Leia Organa, mother of Ben Solo.

When she finally releases him, she sees a lone tear trail down his face, but he quickly wipes it away with his sleeve.

"What now?"

"My second in command is waiting outside. She will be leading the interrogation. I will be present as well." His eyes shift around the room nervously.

"Where's Rey?" he demands, reaching out for her force presence.

"She's on her way. That girl is a force to be reckoned with. She told me everything...the bond..the events on the Supremacy." Leia is not prepared for the look of betrayal that passed across his face...followed by anger.

"Of course she did," he barks.

"Believe it or not, she shared it with me in order to help you...not hurt you. No one else knows," she says cautiously. He doesn't say anything more, but he angles his body away from her. "Keeping you bond a secret has been such a burden for her. Rey is the only person here who could come to your defense. You should keep that in mind."

"You mean to tell me that my mother wouldn't speak positively on my behalf?," he says sarcastically.

She gives him a sad smile. "I love you, but I don't have to like you right now." That's how she ended every argument with Han Solo...jokingly of course. Ben looks as if he's been punched in the gut. Leia knows she hit a soft spot; she'd meant to. Leia pulls up a chair, and mother and son sit quietly. Leia's fingers drum softly on the metal table. Both look up when they feel Rey approaching. The girls comes in with a whirlwind of energy. She plops down in the seat closest to Ben.

"General," she nods, acknowledging his mother first. She unhooks a bag from around her shoulder and starts rummaging through it. She twists the top of a water bottle and places it in front of him, and then slides him a protein bar. He doesn't make any move to accept her food offering. He examines her food offer before pushing it back towards her. "You're a grown man. Did you expect me to open it for you?," Rey asks sharply.

"Not hungry," he growls.

"Not true," she spits back at him, rolling her eyes. "You haven't eaten for days." He doesn't argue with her, because she isn't wrong. Rey gives him a smug smile and she slaps the food back down in front of him.

The door opens, signalling the arrival of the last member of this gather. It's an older man that Ben vaguely remembers from his days going to the capital with his mother. The man's hands shake subtly, the only indication that he in nervous. He keeps a neutral expression, but it's not unkind.

"I am Narak Vermat. I will be conducting this interrogation. It is our hope that we will have your full cooperation and, force willing, things can go favorably for all parties involved," the man states formally, eyes shifting from Ben to Leia.

"Please start by stating your name."

"Kylo Ren." The old man jots some things down on his notepad.

"And your given name," the man prompts.

He's not prepared for the sudden onset of anxiety. To give the name is to reclaim his identity as the son of Han and Leia. To admit to his ties to the Resistance. To the light. A sharp kick to the leg pulls him from his thoughts...Rey.

He clears his throat. "Ben...My name is Ben Solo."


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

"I've had enough," Ben croaks out, breaking the memory Rey shared with him. She nods in understanding and reaches across the kitchen table to place her hand over his.

"It's all a lot to take in I'm sure," Rey says softly. She watches him curiously, her brow furrowed and her lips turned down in almost a pout.

"What?," he says nervously.

Rey seems to shake herself from a trance. "Sorry, this is all very weird to me...I mean...I understand that this is way more disorienting for you…," she stops to clear her throat. "It's the way you look at me...it's not how my husband looks at me. I'll know the second you get all your memories back."

"Oh." The sit there in an uncomfortable silence for few moments. "I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about. It's not your fault," she sighs, bringing her arms up behind her head in a stretch. "We should probably wake sleeping beauty up. If she sleeps too much now, she won't sleep tonight... and when she doesn't sleep, we don't sleep."

He follows Rey back to where Padme lays sleeping peacefully on the coach. Rey lowers herself gently on the coach and lightly places a hand on the child's shoulder. "Hey, little love, time to wake up," Rey says with a slight lilt. Padme shifts slightly, but doesn't appear to wake up. "Nap time is over." The child pretends to be asleep, but Ben can tell she's fighting back a smile. Rey leans down closer to the child's ear. "Do you remember what happens to little boys and girls who don't wake up when mommy and daddy tell them to?" Padme lets out a giggle and Rey winks at him. "Okay then, I guess I'm going to need some help from the TICKLE MONSTER." His daughter squeals as Rey begins tickling her tummy and arms. Her little limbs flail all over.

"Okay, mommy," she laughs. "I'm up. I'm up." She brings her little fists up to her face to wipe the sleep from her eye. "Mommy, you're not as good at tickle monster as daddy is," she states and she give Ben a big smile.

Rey pulls her into her arms. "I'm not as good, huh? Do I need to try again?"

"No, please," the child laughs and buries her face in her mother's hair, giving Rey the opportunity to kiss the top of her head. "Are we going something fun now?"

"Something fun? Like what?"

"Can we get ice pops?...pleeease," she says sweetly.

"You have to eat dinner before you can have ice pops."

"Mommy, I think ice pops will help daddy's head," she says very seriously and she turns to Ben for support.

"I don't think I've had an ice pop since I was twelve," he admits. "I'm feeling okay to go out. We can do whatever."

Rey thinks for a moment. "Alright, here's the plan. We will get dinner and ice pops. We'll also drive around town so you can show your daddy where you go to school and stuff. Go get ready. I want all the Solos loaded up in the speeder in 15 minutes. Alright?"

"I'll get my shoes," Padme yells, hopping down from the coach and taking off towards her room. Rey yawns and begins the search for her own shoes.

"If there anything in particular that sounds good to eat?," she asks him as she slides on her boots.

"Nothing that really stands out. What do...uhh..what do I usually like?" he asks, running his hands through his hair.

"Well go to you favorite restaurant downtown. They have little bit of everything." As Rey, grabs her keys off the hook on the wall, the com rings.

" _Incoming communication from Leia Organa."_

Rey plops down and answers it. "You are right on the mark, Leia."

"I've always been punctual. I gave you a full 24 hours without me pestering you...just like you asked. Now give me updates. I've just been sitting here wondering."

"I'm sure Poe gave you an update."

"I may or may not have conversed with Dameron," she admits and Rey laughs.

"We're doing fine. A little bit is coming back here and there."

"Where is my son? I want to talk to him." Ben freezes. He has absolutely no desire to talk to her right now. He doesn't even know what to say.

"He's asleep," Rey lies smoothly.

"Hmpf. You and I both know that's bullshit," she accuses, but there's no malice to her tone. "Well, since Ben is "sleeping," I would like to talk to my granddaughter."

"Padme!" The little girl comes walking back into the room and her face lights up.

"Grandma!" Rey gets up from the chair nearest the hologram and Padme swiftly takes her spot.

"How is my little princess doing?"

"Good. I've been teaching daddy about being my daddy. His mem'ries are still broken though," she rattles off.

"Well, I'm sure you're are an excellent teacher, Miss Padme Hope," his mother says, her voice filled with affection.

"I am," Padme agrees, earning a chuckle from both mother and grandmother. "Grandma, can I sleepover at your house and play dress up again soon?"

"Anytime, my love. You are always welcome at Grandma's."

"Okay. I'll ask mommy and daddy about when I can come."

"Speaking of your daddy. Where is he, Padme?," Leia asks slyly. Rey, who had gone to stand next to Ben, waves her hands to catch her attention. She tries to use hand motions to signify sleeping.

"He is...swimming?" Ben snorts and Rey throws her arms up in defeat. Leia's booming laughter fills the room. "I'll talk to you later. Goodnight, Rey, Ben, and Padme. I love you all."

"Goodnight, Leia."

"Bye, grandma. Love you."

"Bye, mom."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

"Bye, mom."

"Are we ready to go now?" Rey asks. She pulls two jackets off the hooks near the door, handing the grey one to Ben and pulling the black one on herself.

"Yes, mommy. I got my shoes on," Padme says proudly, kicking her feet out for good measure. Something doesn't seem quite right.

"Very good. Now we just have to get them on the right feet." Rey picks the girl up carefully and sets her on the kitchen counter, quickly unsnapping the girl's shoes and swapping them. She moves to put the child down, but Padme holds her arms out to Ben.

"Help me down, please." Ben hooks his hands around her tiny torso and lowers her to the floor. "Thanks," she yells, hugging his legs.

"Sure, kid," he says, patting her on the back. He expects her to back off. He hopes she might back off, but instead she grabs one of his hands.

"Let's go," Rey says. She shuts all the lights off and leads them out the door. Padme stops shorts as Rey gets in the driver's seat of the same speeder she'd driven him home in.

"You're letting mommy drive your speeder?," she looks up at Ben curiously. He cocks his head towards Rey who meets him with a mischievous smile, her cheeks slightly red.

"Do I not usually let her drive it?," he asks, running his hands along the speeders shiny exterior. He would love to take this out for a ride.

"Only sometimes. You say she drives like a crazy person," she says honestly.

"I do not." Rey defends. Padme shrugs her shoulders and crawls her way into the back seat.

Ben slides into the seat next to Rey. "It sounds like you are taking advantage of my delicate mental state," he muses, trying not to smile.

"Oh, piss off," she says swatting him in the chest. "Technically, what's yours is mine. I'm doing repairs on the one I usually drive. We have a third speeder, but the safety features are better on this one. So really, I'm doing this for the safety of my brain damaged husband, our 4 year old, and our unborn child." She turns the keys in the ignition. "And cause I like how it drives," she throws in with a wink. "And," she points a finger at him, "I am an excellent pilot."

"Not as good as Uncle Poe," a small voice pipes from the back seat.

Rey's head flips around to face her daughter who is trying to stifle a giggle. "You are a traitor, little love."

"Seems you have a whole family of traitors," Ben mutters.

"That I do," Rey agrees.

For the next ten minutes, Rey and Padme point out businesses and locations that should be familiar to him. They still aren't. Rey pulls the speeder into the parking zone of a very simple looking building. _West Coruscant Primary School_

"Daddy, I go here," Padme exclaims as she climbs into the front seat and wiggles her body in between Ben and Rey.

"How many days per standard week?," Rey prompts her. Padme throws up three fingers. "She started school a few months ago. We both cried dropping her off on the first day, because we did not know what in the galaxy we were going to do without our pride and joy," Rey says dramatically, ruffling the child's hair. "We miss her so much when she's at school."

"I don't miss you that much though," Padme says sweetly, patting Ben on the hand as if to reassure him.

"You don't miss us?," Ben asks.

"Nope, 'cause I see some of my friends at school and you get me after school," she explains as if that was an obvious explanation.

"Do you have a lot of friends?" Friends. That was something that he never had enough of. He used to believe that was the price of being a force sensitive. He figured that he would fit it better with other force sensitive kids, but, that too, proved to be difficult.

"Let's see. I'm friends with Gora and Leroux and Pippin and...Tia and Kitu. They aren't force sens'tive, but they are still cool. You and mommy say non force sens'tive friends are 'portant. I have force sens'tive friends too. Arya's my friend and Quira and Nox. Wes is my friend sometimes, but sometimes he's not very nice."

"That's good," Ben says quietly, "Friends are good." He's glad that his daughter seems to be more adept at social interaction than he was. "Do you like school?"

"Ummm. I like history...and reading. I don't like numbers though."

"Well, numbers are hard," Ben agrees. "I'm not very good at math." This is true. He would consider himself to be well above the average intelligence, but any upper level math goes right over his head.

"It's so hard...It's okay though. I'm going to be a Porg collector when I grow up and you don't have to be good at numbers for that," she shrugs.

"You're going to be a porg collector?"

"Yeah. I'm going to find all the porgs and keep them in my house. If I don't do that, I'm be a Princess General like grandma. 'Cause I like telling people what to do and I like dresses." Her brow furrows as she thinks through her options.

"So we aren't raising a future Jedi knight?," he asks both Rey and the child. Rey just shrugs in response.

"Being a jedi would be cool. I like using lightsabers, but I think being a porg collector or princess general would be cooler." Rey is watching Ben carefully and he knows she's waiting for a sarcastic or negative response regarding the Jedi. He certainly has some thoughts to express about it later, but doesn't feel the need to bring them up in front of the child.

"You could always be all three. I think a Jedi General Princess porg collector would be pretty cool," Ben suggests. Padme's eyes widened in response as clearly she had never considered this option before.

"That's such a good idea," she says in awe. Rey gives him a thumbs up and Ben feels that he's finally said something right.


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

When the Solos arrive, the restaurant is packed. And it's loud. Maybe going out in public after a concussion wasn't a great idea, because Ben's starting to get a headache. They've only been waiting for fifteen minutes, but frankly it feels like an hour. People are talking loudly. Dishes are clinking. Music is playing. His head is pounding.

"Little love, can you ask the nice man at the bar for a glass of water for your dad?," Rey asks the child in her lap.

"Ok, mommy," she says sweetly, hopping to the floor. "Don't worry daddy. I'll be back." She gives his knee a quick pat before bouncing off.

Rey chuckles as Padme tries to get the bartender's attention. She has to stand on her tiptoes just to slap her hand on the top of the bar.

"Hey, Mister!," she yells. The man looks around confused. "I'm down here." When he looks down at her he smiles. They can't hear the rest of the exchange, but Padme manages to come back with not only a water, but also some sort of candy. "Here you go, mommy," she says with her mouth full.

"Thank you. You are being so helpful." Rey says, bringing her daughter close so she can kiss her forehead. The child beams. "Hey, Ben," Rey says softly, nudging his shoulder. "Here." She hands him the glass of water and also some of his pain meds. Of course she'd known.

"You're a mind reader," he moans, swallowing the pills down quickly. Just knowing that pain relief is on its way makes him feel better.

"If this is too much, we can leave and just grab something on our way home. It's up to you. Doesn't matter to me either way." Rey makes him lean forward so she can massage his neck. Her cool hand feels good on his skin. It helps.

"But, mommy. What about the ice pops?" Padme whispers, a frown appearing on her face. Her mother shushes her.

"No, it's fine. We're here and I'm hungry. I'll be fine," he reassures her. She nods.

Five minutes later they're seated at a small table in the back corner of the restaurant. It's somewhat secluded from the rest of the guests which is nice and Ben is more relaxed. However, Padme seems to be getting antsy.

"Mommy, I'm ready," she says, waving her menu around. Ben can knows what's going to happen before it does. With a clumsy flop of the menu, Padme takes out the large cup of water sitting in front of her and sends it flying. Rey manages to halt the cup before it hits one of the passing waiters, but the contents of the cup is now all over the table and floor.

"Karking hell," Rey says under her breath.

Padme turns to her parents, her wide brown eyes filling with tears. "I'm sorry... I made everything all wet," she cries. She reaches her arms out and Rey pulls her onto her lap. Ben starts using the cloth napkins to sop up some of the mess.

"Hey, hey, little love. No more tears. Accidents happen. Do you remember what we do when accidents happen?" The child nods, rubbing at her eyes with both first. "What do we do?"

Padme sniffs loudly. "We clean them up."

"That's right. I'm going to go ask someone for some napkins and then you and I will clean this up together, okay?" Padme nods in agreement and Rey uses her thumb to clear some of the child's tears. "No more tears, okay? This is not worth crying over. No one is mad." She sets the child back on the floor and set out on her quest for napkins. Padme eyes Ben warily.

"Daddy, are you mad at me?," she asks quietly.

"Of course not," he said. Padme scrunches her face. Apparently, she was looking for a more detailed answer.

"Can I have a hug?," she questions, taking a few steps closer to him.

"Uh..sure," he says, but before he's finished speaking, she's in his lap. She reaches her little arms arms around him as far as they'll go. He awkwardly returns the action, secretly hoping it will end soon. The frequent hugs are taking time to get used to. In the midst of this exchange, the waitress arrives at the table.

"Well, isn't she darling. She is your spitting image," the older woman gushes. "What's your name, doll?"

"Padme Hope Solo," she says proudly, unwrapping herself from around her father. "This is my daddy. His name is Ben."

"Well, Padme and Ben...have you decided what you'll be having?" At this time, Rey has returned to the table with a large pile of napkins. She hands them to Padme who hops off Ben's lap and begins sloppily cleaning up the mess.

"Hello," she says the the waitress slightly out of breath. "He will take the Alderaan Stew," she states pointing at Ben. " _Trust me,"_ she mouths. "Padme, what would you like?"

"Mommy, I want red soup," she says confidently and Rey sighs.

"Love, remember last time you got the red gourd soup you didn't like it," she says.

"I'm going to like it this time. Promise," she says sweetly.

"Fine," Rey says sharply. "She'll take the red gourd soup. I will have nerf sausage, light on the seasoning, and plain Corellian buckwheat noodles," Rey says, handing all the menus to the waitress and going to help Padme clean the rest of her mess. Once all the saturated napkins are gathered up, she directs Padme to the nearest waste can.

"Well, ten minutes into dinner and I'm already exhausted," Rey says, sliding into the seat next to him.

"Is it always like this?" he asks, turning his head to watch the child hastily dispose of the soaked napkins.

Rey takes a sip of water before answering his question. "Usually it's at least 30 minutes before she spills something." Ben's eyes widen.

Padme races back to the table and Ben finds he's somewhat relieved. Her never ending stream of chatter means that he has to talk very little. She's talks about everything and anything...friends, Leia, ships, porgs. She doesn't stop until the waiter returns with their meals.

The steaming bowl of stew placed in front of him makes his mouth water. Padme squirms, anxious to dig into the large bowl of soup before her. Rey eyes her carefully, crossing her arms. The child brings a spoonful of the soup to her mouth...and her face immediately scrunches in disgust.

"How's the soup?," Rey asks, her eyes narrowing. "You told me you liked it."

"S'good," Padme says forcing herself to swallow it. Ben notices a lone tear escape down her cheek. She goes for a second bite, but stops before it reaches her mouth. "Hey, mommy..."

"Yes, love."

"The soup is yucky…," she whispers, looking down at her lap. Rey sighs and swiftly switches Padme's plate with her own. The child's face immediately perks up. "Thanks, mommy." Ben suspects that Rey knew this was exactly how the scenario was going to play out. The child eats happily and to his shock, silently, for the next ten minutes. "I'm full. I'm going to go potty," she announces loudly, pointing to the fresher door nearest their table. "I don't need your help, mommy. I'm four." Rey allows the child to go on her own, but she keeps careful watch on the fresher door.

Once she's out of sight, Ben turns to Rey. "You knew she wasn't going to eat the soup."

"There wasn't a chance in hell. She tries it every once in a while because we both like it. Always hates it...," Rey explains.

"Isn't it just spoiling her to just switch out the meals when she repeatedly orders something she doesn't like?," Bens asks, curiously.

Rey raises an eyebrow. "Oh, for sure. Your mother calls us out on it all the time. However, I am exhausted, my back is killing me, and I will do literally anything to avoid her having a meltdown in the middle of this restaurant. So you win some, you lose some. And honestly, she has poor taste, because this soup is fantastic," she says as she shovels more of the creamy liquid in her mouth. "Here, try this." She holds out a spoonful. He eyes her warily before reaching for his own spoon. "Okay, you've been swapping spit with me for years, using my spoon won't kill you." He feels the tips of his ears starting to get red and is immensely thankful for his long hair. He reluctantly takes the utensil from her. She's right. The soup is fantastic. She reclaims her spoon, scooping up some of his stew on the way back.

"Mm. That's good too," she moans. "One of us needs to learn to cook so we can make this...Your mother sends us a case of pre-prepared meals every two weeks."

"I hope she doesn't make them," he says with a grimace, remembering a childhood filled with frequent overcooked or undercooked meals.

"No. Thank the Maker," Rey laughs. "None of us were blessed with culinary skills. Although, you make really good pancakes. I tried to use our kitchen once and almost burnt the place down." The finish their meals in a comfortable silence. Rey's paying the bill when her daughter returns.

"I'm back," Padme shouts popping up beside her mother. "Did you miss me?"

"Of course, love. I always miss you," Rey tells the child. "You ready to go?"

"Yes, mommy. Are we going by the academy?" The academy. Ben had been too afraid to approach this topic before. Padme had mentioned having force sensitive friends. The thought of another Jedi academy made his blood boil. He gets up from the table a little more aggressively than he intended to.

Rey's eyes briefly flash to look at Ben. "Not tonight. We are going to get ice pops remember." She gets up and slides her coat on. Ben follows suit.

"The ice pops place is by the academy," Padme reminds her. Rey sighs and leads her family back outside.

"I do have to pick up some paperwork," Rey says slowly. "You and me will run in real fast, okay. I mean it. Fast." The child's brow furrows.

"Where will daddy go?," she asks, running over the pull on Ben's arm.

"He might want to wait in the speeder and keep it warm for us," Rey answers. _Don't feel pressured to come in with us. I will explain everything. The academy...it's not perfect, but it's better._ He's not sure if he'll ever get used to the sound of her voice in his mind...but, it's better than Snoke. So much better.

"Daddy," Padme pleads giving him a toothy smile, her eyes wide. "Please come with me." He wonders if the real, fully informed Ben Solo...the one with all his memories is able to say no to this girl. He doubts it.

"Fine."


	22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

Thanks for the continued love and feedback. This chapter will introduce new characters, but they will not be playing major roles in this story.

"So this is it," he says, rocking back on his heels. The academy. They are in one of the newer parts of the city and the building before him was...impressive to say the least. And, it wasn't the homage to the old Jedi temple that he was expecting. It was more modern with a sleek exterior and large windows.

"Are we going in?" Padme whines, licking the remnants of a red ice pop from her fingers. "I'm cold." Rey looks at Ben who gives her a brisk nod. It's now or never.

"Here goes nothing," Rey says quietly, walking towards the door. She turns around suddenly. "You need to behave yourself." He looks down at Padme who shrugs. "I was talking to you Ben. Not her."

"I've been doing okay...given the circumstances," he retorts, somewhat offended. For someone who have never handled things well, things are going okay.

"Yeah, mommy. He's been a good boy," Padme says, patting Ben's arm.

"Yeah, mommy. I've been a good boy," Ben agrees. Rey's eyes soften and her cheeks redden.

After they've all scanned their handprint the doors wing open. "Welcome Solos," an automated voice says. They walk into a large lobby. One of the variations of the Jedi code is etched into the marble floor. Ben stands over the words. Remembering how he used to recite similar words with the other younglings at Luke's academy.

 _Emotion, yet peace_

 _Ignorance, yet knowledge_

 _Passion, yet serenity_

 _Chaos, yet harmony_

 _Death, yet the Force_

He used to believe in what these words meant. Rey walks back to stand next to him. "When we were talking through the design we thought about putting 'Peace is a lie' really big, but we thought that might be a little aggressive for an establishment meant to empower children," she said flatly, fighting back a smile.

He chuckles. "Surely you know I was never a sith."

"I know," she says, nudging him in the shoulder. "We did spend a long time on this though. We looked at the original code, but felt the work 'no' was used too much… ' _there is no emotion, there is peace.'_ We want this to be about balance...not everything is so black and white."

"Mommy, I'm going to find Arya," Padme cuts into the conversation, tugging at Rey's jacket.

"Okay, love. Daddy and I will catch up with you soon." The child runs off through another set of double doors.

"Is she…," he starts.

"This building is very secure. She's fine," Rey says, answering his unfinished question. Rey walks over to an empty reception desk and sits on it. "So, welcome to 'The Academy,'" she says spreading her arms wide.

"It seems like the accommodations might be a little better than the huts Luke had us living in."

"Come on. I'll show you more," she says, hopping down off the desk. "We never really intended to start anything like this, but the more we thought about what kind of future we wanted for our daughter the more it made sense. We opened three and a half years ago." She leads him down a hall toward another set of doors. "We will train children of any age from any background. We do plan on training Jedi, but that's not our main goal."

"If not to train Jedi, then what is it all for?"

"We are training these children to control their power and they can choose to be whatever they want. Some of theses kids want to become Jedi and others just want to be able to control their powers enough not to scare their friends and family." She stops in the middle of the vast hallway and directs Ben's attention toward a wall. There are photos of about 25 students of every age and species. "These are all the students who live in residence and in nearby neighborhoods. The local kids usually choose to live with their families. All these students go to regular schools in the area and return in the afternoon for classes here."

"Where did they all come from?," he asks, studying each child's face. Some of them are teens, surely he or Snoke would have sensed him. Maybe their powers didn't fully manifest until later…

"They come from all over. A few of them are orphans, some come from very powerful families, some from humble families in the outer rim…mid rim...Many of these children had been hidden away. Their families had heard of what happens to force sensitive children under the First Order. We had a lot of help finding them all...Maz Kanata always knows more than she lets on.."

"And you...we..we don't separate them from their families?," he asks quietly. While Luke hadn't forbidden contact with parents, he had somewhat discouraged it and opportunities for visits were few and far between.

"The simple answer is no. Like I said, the local kids usually live at home, but they do spend a lot of time here. The kids who aren't local live in residence, but their families can visit whenever they like. We don't limit communication in anyway. They go home for holidays, long weekends,..."

"You said before that the Academy wasn't perfect. Sounds pretty perfect to me," he muses.

"It does seem that way sometimes. It's easily accessible to orphans as well as the children from middle and upper class families. It's the older working class students that we struggle with. All expenses here are covered, but coming here could mean a loss of income for their family. They aren't going to come here if it means that their mother and siblings will die of starvation. So, for now we send these kids instructional holocrons and we call in to check up on them every couple cycles. We are thinking about starting personal visits, but right now we just don't have the staff. It's frustrating, because it feels like we are letting these kids fall through the cracks. "

"You can't save everyone," Ben reminds her.

"I know that," she says quietly. "And I am very proud of what we have done the past several years. I just know that someday we can do more. Sometimes it feels like we have no idea what we are doing, but it's been a hell of a journey figuring it out."

"Show me more," he says.

She nods. "Okay, here's the student commons. There's a library, study rooms, practice and meditation rooms, food, you name it. All classes are done for the day, so they have down time to do whatever they want." The space she leads him in is much larger than the last. A large fountain occupies the middle of the room. There are children everywhere. A teen lays on the edge of the fountain reading a book. A couple of kids play ball in the corner. Some girls are gathered around a table in the back eating snacks and playing some sort of game.

"Hey, Master Rey, Master Ben," says the Twi'lek girl looking up from her book.

"Hey, Kaasha," Rey says brightly, walking up to her. "Do you know who is on duty tonight? I'm just stopping by to grab something and didn't bother to look."

"It's Master Jora. Last time I saw her she was yelling at Wes in the East Wing dormitory," the girls says closing her book.

"Hm," Rey grunts. "What did he do?"

"Beats me," she shrugs and then her attention turns on Ben. "Master Ben, is it true you lost a bunch of your memories?," she asks conspiratorially.

Ben opens his mouth to answer, but is quickly interrupted. "Kaasha, who told you that?" Rey asks sharply. The girl sits up quickly, her lekku swinging behind her.

"Master Jora told me and Arya...so it's true," she whispers. "Cool...I mean not cool, but like...interesting. I won't tell a soul. I swear it."

"Alright, kid, Mum's the word. I trust you," Rey sighs. "I'll see you tomorrow night for your lesson, yeah?"

" I've been practicing every night, but I still need a little help with my footwork."

"I look forward to seeing what you can do. Have a good night, Kaasha."

"Goodnight, Masters," the girl says as she returns to her book.

Rey leans in closer to Ben. "She's a good kid. We found her living in the streets of one of the mining worlds." As they make their way across the room, several of the kids briefly stop their activities to tell them hello and Rey gives Ben a brief synopsis of the child's history. Eventually, they end up in a large office suite. Rey walks over one of the desks and grabs a datapad "That's your desk," Rey says pointing to one in the corner. It's got a couple holocrons...a few photos.

"Didn't expect to see you here," a familiar voice says. Ataro Ren saunters across the room and plops herself into the chair nearest him. She hasn't changed a bit. Despite being the smallest of the Knights, she'd always been an imposing figure. She wasn't as strong with a saber as some of the others, but she did well with hand to hand combat. Smart. Intuitive. And, she knew when to keep her mouth shut. A good trait. "Aren't you supposed to be nursing a head injury or something?"

"It's nice to see a familiar face. Out of all of the knights, I never thought you would be the traitor," he says cooly. The woman's eyes narrow.

"Well, it's lucky for you I was. Otherwise, you would have gotten yourself blown up," she scoffs. "Besides, I was always loyal to you. It's the First Order I didn't care for." She kicks her feet up on her desk.

"Then, I suppose I should be thanking you," Ben says quietly, his eyes darting to the ceiling. "What is it that you are calling yourself these days? Jora? That was your given name, correct?"

She nods. "Your wife is a patient woman, Ben. I've been in the presence of your concussed self for such a brief period of time and I'm already sort of annoyed," she says, turning to mess with something on her desk. "You've always had a flare for the dramatic, but I have to say losing sevens of memory is a little excessive." Ben had always suspected that this knight was less than impressed by him. She'd been several years older than him and, quite honestly, he'd been shocked when she fled the academy with him and several others.

"Be nice, Jora," Rey giggles. "Or I'll leave him here with you. It's kind of like having another child, but he learns pretty quickly." Rey winks at him.

"Leave him here and I'll call his mother to come pick him up," Jora barks back, earning another laugh from Rey.

"I'm still here," Ben says, crossing his arms. The both ignore him. "You weren't ever this outspoken with the knights, Jora."

"Keeping my mouth shut helped me stay alive," she says simply. He knows this to be true. They'd lost and gained a few knights through the years. Most of the losses had come from internal fighting between knights...high stress situations and big egos never mixed well.

"Everyone behaving tonight?" Rey asks.

"Wes force threw a book at the elderly woman working in the archives room, but otherwise they've all been fine. I suspect that little boy you two picked up from Corellia is planning some sort of uprising, but it's too soon to tell," she mutters.

"Jora, he's five."

"So? Never too young to start a mutiny." she laughs. "What are you doing here anyway? And, where is my favorite girl? "

"She's around here somewhere. We aren't staying long. Padme wanted to see Arya and I needed to grab the info for the new student coming in next week," Rey says. "Also, let's keep Ben's memory thing a need to know issue. The students don't need to know."

"Oh, come off it," Jora snorts. "I just told Kaasha and Arya. They aren't going to tell anybody. Besides, they were panicked when you missed their lesson yesterday. They thought something was wrong with you or the baby because, and I quote, 'Master Rey would never miss a lesson without letting us know,'" Jora says, raising her voice an octave. "So, I filled them in."

"Fine. No one else though...for now at least."

"If you say so," she shrugs. "I've gotta go make sure the littlest ones have all gone to bed, so I'll catch up with you later."

"Night, Jora. Thanks for covering for me," Rey shouts as the woman walks away.

"It's all right," she looks back for a moment. "You owe me one and you know I'll collect." They both watch her disappear around the corner.

"I always kind of liked her," Ben says quietly. "Or maybe, it's that I didn't hate her. She wasn't as hot headed as most of the knights. That doesn't mean she wasn't dangerous...she calculated every move...considered all the possible outcomes." He plops down into his desk chair and fiddles with one of the holocrons. "When I first joined the First Order, I made a lot of rash decisions and the supr...Snoke would punish me physically and mentally for it. Every once in a while, she would take the blame, and the subsequent punishment, for something that was my fault. She never mentioned it...never asked for anything in return. I never understood why she did it. I certainly didn't deserve it. "

"She joined the Resistance not long after you did. She was instrumental in helping us bring down Hux and the rest of the order. She also played a huge role in creating this place. She helped us track down students and teachers...brainstormed all these lesson plans and figured out logistics," Rey says. "We wouldn't be where we are without her."

"I would probably be dead," Ben says quietly.

Rey sighs. "I don't like to think about it."

A gentle knock on the doors pulls them both from their thoughts.


End file.
